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Elaine.....Ana Gasteyer Justin.....Will Ferrell Wendy.....Maya Rudolph Michael.....Chris Kattan Erin.....Rachel Dratch Announcer: The Jones Family is planning a family vacation. They’re tired of going to all of the classic vacation sites.. like Las Vegas, or Yellowstone, or France, or even the Bahamas, so this year they’re going to Ethiopia. They’ve been so excited.. they’ve got film in their cameras and plenty of spending money. When they get off the plane, they can hardly wait to go sightseeing. They immediately hit the streets.. We caught up with them just as they hit their first sight. Elaine: Oh, honey look.. it’s a poor person. Quick, take a picture of the kids and I next to him. Justin: Oh my gosh! I think you’re right. He’s just like the ones we see on those commercials with Sally Struthers! Quick kids.. go get next to him. Wendy: Look, Daddy.. it looks like he’s got flies on him.. it looks so realistic. Michael: Wow.. she’s right. This is so cool. These people have much better costumes than that Smoky the bear dude we saw when we went camping last year. [ camera flashes ] Wendy: Daddy, what’s he doing now? [ Poor Person is holding his hands out as if begging ] Justin: Well, sweetie, it looks like he’s begging. Elaine: Isn’t that cute? Honey, take a picture of Wendy next to him while he’s begging. [ camera flashes again ] [ family walks away laughing, man looks confused, still holding hands out begging ] [ Next, we see the family walking into an area with many cots laid out. Each cot has a very sickly looking person laying on it. Several men and women are tending to the people. ] Wendy: Daddy, what’s going on here? Justin: It looks like this is supposed to be one of those hospitals, out of those "Please send money commercials". They must be getting ready to film one of them now. Erin: Oh, they must be, look, they even have make-up on and everything. They do such a good job with the make-up. It looks as if they are actually dirty and ill. Elaine: Let’s take some pictures with them. Oh.. look at that one over there. That spot on his arm looks like an AIDS lesion. I guess they get really in to precise details when they film these commercials. Everyone gather around his bed and smile. I’ll take this picture. Quickly, gather around.. before they start filming. [ family gathers around the bed of the AIDS victim ] [ camera flashes ] Michael: What do you think is supposed to be wrong with that one over there. She looks kind of funny.. Justin: I think she’s supposed to be suffering from starvation.. how do you think they got her to look like that.. with bones sticking out all over and skin so tight on top of them. Elaine: Well she hasn’t been moving.. so it’s probably just a dummy. Let’s go check it out. Erin: Well it’s really light, and hasn’t moved. Yep.. it’s just a dummy. Michael: Awesome! Get a picture of me with her arm around me. [ Michael picks up the dying (if not already dead) woman’s arm and swings it around his shoulder, leans in and puts his cheek right next to hers ] [ camera flashes ] Michael: Ewww. It smells. What do they make these things out of??? Elaine: I don’t know, honey. Girls, why don't you two go and sit next to her, so I can get a picture of you. Wendy and Erin: Okay, Mom. [ Wendy and Erin sit down next to the woman. They put one of her arms around each of their shoulders. ] [ camera flashes ] Wendy: Michael’s right. It does smell. Let’s get out of here. Announcer: Well, that’s all the time we got to spend with the Jones family on this trip, as they were eventually arrested and banned from the country of Ethiopia, due to their harrasment of it’s innocent and suffering citizens. Stay tuned for their next vacation, when they travel to the exotic lands of Iraq." [ fade to black ] Rate or review this sketch. |
