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Boy.....Jimmy Fallon Girl.....Maya Rudolph Mother.....Ana Gasteyer [ Mother prepares lunch for her kids ] Mother: So, would you like some soup for lunch? Kids: Yes, please! Mother: Good. How about chicken noodle? Boy: No, I had that yesterday. Mother: Clam chowder? Girl: No, I had that yesterday. Mother: Do you want any soup? Boy: No, it's all the same! Boring, typical soup! Girl: We always know what we're going to have! Mother: Well, sorry, but it's not like there's a soup that doesn't tell you what's in it. Announcer: Yes there is now! Boy: Well, what is it? Announcer: It's new Mystery Soup! [ tosses Mother a can of Mystery Soup ] Mother: Mystery Soup? What is it? Announcer: Well, if we told you, it would ruin the surprise! Mystery soup is the only soup that gives you a surprise by not telling you what's in it! It does so by not revealing the ingredients! Girl: Really? Isn't that illegal? Announcer: Normally, it would be illegal. But we've managed to pay off the FDA, so you don't know what you're getting! It could be minestrone, or pumpkin, or gumbo, or it might not even be soup? Mother: If it isn't soup, is it even food? Announcer: Sorry, we're not telling you. Boy: Could it be something that shouldn't be included in food? Announcer: [ nervous ] Uhhh, well, that would ruin the surprise! Girl: Is it something you could get arrested for using? Announcer: Hey, you don't want to spoil all the fun now, do you? Girl: Well, not really. But I think this soup might contain something you're not supposed to eat. Announcer: [ nervous ] Mmmm, maybe you should open up the can to see what's inside this can. Mother: [ opens the can ] It's tomato soup! Boy: So it really is soup! [ SUPER: "Possibility of getting soup: .6%" ] Announcer: Yes, and you might get soup too, or you might not. That's why it's Mystery Soup! Other Announcer: Warning: Mystery Soup may contain - Announcer: Excuse me, but why did we give you the condo in San Juan? Other Announcer: Oh, sorry. We can't tell you what Mystery Soup might contain, because that would ruin the surprise! [ fade out ] Rate or review this sketch. |
