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Randy Earthtone.....Sean Hayes
Representative: Hi, I'm Randy Earthtone, Representative for the Porno Training Academy. The PTA is currently looking for fresh, new talent to star in our porno films, and we've got our eyes on current child stars in Hollywood. No, we're not asking them to train immediately - we're not that tasteless - all applicants must be at least eighteen years of age to train to become a porn star. And by the time some of today's most intriguing child stars turn eighteen, many of our current performers, such as Marilyn Chambers and Traci Lords, will be headed for the pasture, opening the doors to fresh, new talent. We've got our eyes on some promising child stars already. For example: Haley Joel Osment. [ show picture ] You were snubbed at the Oscars, buddy, but everyone will love you in our industry. Forget about seeing dead people - train at the PTA, and you'll be seeing naked people! We've also got our eyes on those dasterdly Olsen Twins. [ show Olsen Twins ] Yeah, this will be good. You girls are already accustomed to clumsy storylines and weak dialogue - the porno industry is perfect for you! And the only way you two will be able to continue making movies together past your teen years is as porn stars - we've got the videotape to prove it! So, if today's child stars want to maintain a career in show business, the Porno Training Academy is for you! Rate or review this sketch. |
