|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Politician.....Chris Parnell Guy in Crowd.....Jimmy Fallon Advisor.....Darrell Hammond [ open on a politician making a speech ] Politician: It is not enough to want change. You have to - [ crowd interrupts with laughter ] Guy in Crowd: Hey, is that a pencil in your pants or are you just happy to see us? [ Politician looks at himself embarrasedly, camera now shows that he has a big erection ] [ Politician is later seen with advisor ] Politician: I bet that I'm now the laughingstock of the town. Those talk shows will have a field day! At least will I still get re-elected? Advisor: No, Polls show that your approval ratings are lower than Nixon. Some people say that if you didn't better for the job. Politician: Oh my dear lord! Of all times, I had to pop a woody here? Advisor: Well, let me let you in on a little secret. I used to have those exact same problems. But that was before I discovered Boneriffic, from Pfreezer. It's the drug that fights overactive weiners. Announcer: Scientists at the Pfreezer laboratory were trying to develop a new drug - one that would put an end to impotence. But nothing seemed to work. Finally, just as they came up with one, Pfizer beat them to the punch with Viagra. But Pfreezer didn't give up - we decided to use a different approach - a drug with reverse affects. The name of that drug - Phytochemalithiminociligerana. But that name was too long, and we needed a more interesting name. So we came up with... Boneriffic. Boneriffic is easy to apply - just a small drop of cream rubbed on the schlong has a time-release system that stems the flow of testosterone to prevent an unwanted stiffy for up to 12 hours. Now, let's look at that scene again. Politician: It is not enough to want change. You have to FIGHT for it! [ crowd cheers ] Guy in Crowd: I agree with you all the way! Politician: Thank you for saying that. [ Politician is seen later with advisor ] Politician: So, how did it go? Advisor: Teriffic! You just might get re-elected. Politician: [ to camera ] Thanks, Boneriffic! Announcer: Boneriffic. Because when you aren't having sex, erections just aren't necessary. Warning: May cause impotence even after it wears off. You might not be able to have an erection again after taking Boneriffic. Perhaps not even while peeing. If this happens, consult a physician. [ fade out ] Rate or review this sketch. |
