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Father.....Will Ferrell Mother.....Tina Fey Daughter.....Katie Holmes Son.....Jimmy Fallon Younger Daughter.....Rachel Dratch Younger Son.....Horatio Sanz Father: [ coming home ] Guess what I brought home for dinner?! Mother: What is it? Daughter: Is it chicken? Father: No! Son: Is it fish? Father: No! Younger Daughter: Is it beef? Father: No! Younger Son: Is it vegetables? Father: No! Rest of Family: Then what is it? Father: Well, to be honest, I don't know what it is myself. Mother: How could that be? Father: Because it's.. [ pulls out box with question marks labeled Mystery Meal ] ..Mystery Meal! Announcer: Yes it is! From the makers of Mystery Soup, it's Mystery Meal! Mystery Meal makes dinner fun and exciting by not telling you what's in it. We do this the same way we keep the ingredients of Mystery Soup - we pay off the FDA! Mother: Hey! I have a right to know what's in this! Daughter: Yes! This could contain something poisonous, or something that we're allergic to! Son: I don't think that Mystery Meal is edible. Announcer: Sure you want to know what's in it, but wouldn't that spoil all the fun? It might not even be food! It might just be floor sweepings and peelings and fat, and any other parts of food that just go to waste! But don't let that discourage you! You might get food! You might not! That's all part of the fun! Younger Daughter: Are you saying that this could just be carrot peels and chicken skin? Announcer: Yes. But you might not notice it, because it could be prepared to look like food! Father: Wait, if I have no idea of knowing if this is really food or not, then I'm not having Mystery Meal! Announcer: Are you sure? Just open the box. Father: Okay, even thought it goes against my better judgement. [ opens the box, finds fried chicken ] Hey, this is fried chicken! Announcer: It could be. Or it could be synthesised from skin and organs! Or it might not contain anything remotely close to chicken! But that's the surprise! Let's see what the rest of the family got! Mother: I got spaghetti! Daughter: I got gumbo! Son: Hot dogs! Younger Daughter: Fish sticks! Younger Son: Hamburger! Announcer: And that's the second surprise! Guessing the ingredients! What is your food made of? Who knows?! [ family starts eating their mystery selections ] Daughter: But it's so good, who cares?! Son: I don't know what I'm eating and I like it! Younger Daughter: This is the best food I've ever had! Younger Son: So what if this contains something dangerous or inedible? Mother: What matters is that I like it! [ Super: Possibility of not getting actual food - 98.7% Possibility of getting something that looks and tastes like food, but isn't - 58.6% ] Announcer: Mystery Meal! And don't forget Mystery Soup, the perfect side dish to Mystery Meal! Both from Zypac products. Zypac. For those who don't care what they buy, as long as it sounds good! Rate or review this sketch. |
