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Conan O'Brien.....Jimmy Fallon Jimmy Fallon.....Conan O'Brien Rachel Dratch.....Tina Fey Tina Fey.....Rachel Dratch [ cue "Late Night" bumper, dissolve to Conan on the set ] Conan O'Brien: Welcome back to "Late Night". My next guest you all know from his performance as half of the news team on "Saturday Night Live"'s Weekend Update. Also, ladies seem to like him a lot - if you don't mind my saying so. Please welcome Jimmy Fallon! [ Jimmy Fallon walks out ] Jimmy Fallon: This is so awesome! Thanks for having me back, Conan! Conan O'Brien: No problem. Now, Jimmy.. I was surfing the Internet the other night - late, late at night - and I came across a fan page of yours. Some sort of shrine, I believe? Jimmy Fallon: Aw, man, it's crazy! This girl thinks I'm the bomb, so she comes down to the studio all the time to see me, and she made a web page called The Jimmy Fallon Shrine to express her devotion to my work on the show! It's friggin' awesome! Conan O'Brien: I'm sure it must be. But what about negative publicity? Has there been any of that directed toward you on the Internet? Jimmy Fallon: There has.. but I don't know if I should take any of it seriously. Conan O'Brien: Meaning? Jimmy Fallon: Well, there was this Internet message board located at Insidetheweb.com, and it was run by some guy named Jordan Davidson.. Conan O'Brien: Sounds like trouble. Jimmy Fallon: I don't know, he seems alright. But anyway, some other joker made an anonymous posting, and signed it "Dennis Miller". I think the guy was trying to call attention to my impression of Dennis. Conan O'Brien: Well, what exactly did the posting say? Jimmy Fallon: [ laughing ] He just made fun of my hair! [ pulls papers out of jacket ] Listen to this, Conan - it's titled "Jimmy Baby!", let me read it to you: [ in Miller voice ] "Seriously, Jimbo, you should consider combing your hair. I've seen better parts in the Riker's Island production of 'Gigi', Chico!" Alright? What's up with that? Conan O'Brien: I'm not even sure what that's supposed to mean. It could be from Dennis.. Jimmy Fallon: I'm pretty sure it's not. Anyway, that spawned an entire series of posts from other fans masquerading as various cast members, hosts, and recurring characters. Here, listen to some of my favorites, Conan: From Don Ohlmeyer, "That's the kind of edgy humour you can only hear on ABC's Monday Night Football, Mondays at 9/8 Central. God, I'm a genius!" ; "Norm MacDonald: Ohlmeyer, you are a goddamn asshole...or so the German's would have us believe."; "Dennis Miller: Woah Woah Woah babe, I haven't seen anger like this since the Ottoman Empire ran out of FIDDLE FADDLE, cha cha." ; "Dan Vitale: I have a feeling my Customer #4 character is gonna be a big hit next season." ; "Molly Shannon: Oh, Janet Reno, you are going down, pretty lady!!!!!!" ; "Johnny Carson: That is some weird, wild stuff!" I mean, this stuff's ridiculous! Conan O'Brien: Sounds like a party game off of "Whose Line is it Anyway?" Jimmy Fallon: I know, it's crazy what Internet fans will do. By the way, I heard that Jordan's message board shut down recently. Hmm.. I wonder how that could have happened? Conan O'Brien: You're not trying to say you used your celebrity power to shut the board down? Jimmy Fallon: Celebrity power? Me? Nah, I was just kidding. I had nothing to do with it - the message board shut down because the server sucked! But you can still chat about the show with Jordan and his buddies at the new location: http://www.voy.com/16069. And, hey, a special shout-out to all my posses over at Jordan's Message Board - a lot cooler than that board at Sean Bradley's site! Conan O'Brien: [ writing note on piece of paper ] ..voy.com/16069.. I'll have to make a special trip to see that board, sounds interesting. You know, I've seen a lot of web sites devoted to the show, but I think my favorite would have to be one called Saturday Night Live Transcripts. [ Flashing SUPER: "CHEAP PLUG" ] Have you seen this site? Jimmy Fallon: [ using Nick Burns voice ] Yeah, I've seen it. Geez, what a loser! This guy's got nothing better to do with his time than copy our sketches by hand? Geez, just write to the show - we'll give him the old sketches! Right now we're just using them to line the floors in Don Pardo's booth so he doesn't have to leave to go to the bathroom! Conan O'Brien: [ laughing ] You know, Don was in his hundreds when I was writing for the show. Lorne was supposed to have his voice box transplanted into a turtle. Jimmy Fallon: Hey, didn't I see that on a Comedy Central rerun - at four in the morning? Thanks a lot, guys at Comedy Central! [ Rachel Dratch and Tina Fey suddenly walk onto the set ] Conan O'Brien: Rachel Dratch and Tina Fey, ladies and gentlemen. Jimmy Fallon: Hey, what brings you guys here? Rachel Dratch: Oh, we just wanted to comment about these Internet sites that talk about us on a regular basis! Tina Fey: Yeah. Did you know there's this one guy on Jordan's message board who constantly refers to me as a character played by Rachel Dratch? I hope now that he can see that we are indeed two distinctly different people. Conan O'Brien: You don't need to tell me twice. By the way, who are these four guys on the Internet who think you look better with the glasses? Tina Fey: Just a quartet of "X-Files" fans. You know how we at "SNL" hate to disappoint our target viewing audience. Conan O'Brien: I can imagine. So.. who's hosting the big 500th show next Saturday? Jimmy Fallon: We don't know yet, because Sean Bradley hasn't updated his site in a while! Conan O'Brien: Hey, knock it off! [ holds index card ] It says here the host will be actress Julia Stiles, with musical guest Aerosmith. Sounds.. interesting.. Rachel Dratch: Yeah. We don't know who she is, either! But Lorne likes the young'uns! Conan O'Brien: Don't I know it - the stories I could tell you about Lorne and Al Franken's daughter.. Jimmy Fallon: Wait, what's that?! Conan O'Brien: Nothing.. nothing at all.. That's going to do it for this week, folks, but we'll be back Monday with Gina Gershon and John Waters. See you then! [ credits roll; fade out ] Rate or review this sketch. |
