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Father.....Alec Baldwin Son.....Jimmy Fallon [ a father and son walk through the woods ] Father: So how is it now that you've just turned 13? Son: It's swell. But it seems like everything's changing. Father: Like how, kiddo? Son: Well, when I get up in the morning, sometimes... Father: Go on, you can tell me. I'm your father. Son: Well, I wake up, and there's usually a big mess. It's all wet, and stuff. Sometimes, I just don't feel confident. Father: Is that what I think it is? Son: It sure is, Dad. Father: Well, I think the answer to your problems might be... Son: Yes, what is it? Father: Something I used when I had those same exact problems. I still do. Son: Well, what is it? Father: Something called Masculine Choice. Announcer: [ offscreen, with a box of Masculine Choice leakage absorption pads shown ] Yes. Nocturnal emissions are a problem, but they can be controlled with Masculine Choice, the leakage absorption pad for men that takes all the worry out of what are commonly known as "Wet Dreams." [ other leakage absorption pads are tested ] Other pads may look the same, but are inferior. [ a glass of water is poured on one, the water forms a hole in the pad. ] Some aren't strong enough. [ a glass of water is poured on one, the pad doesn't tear, but the water slides off. ] Some don't even absorb. [ a glass of water is poured on one, the water leaks through the pad. ] And some can't contain water. [ Masculine Choice is tested, it aborbs the water without tearing. ] But Masculine choice is sturdy, and super absorbent. [ the pad is wrung, but no water drips out, and the pad still doesn't tear. ] Even under the most extreme conditions. [ a close up of the pad is shown ] The way Masculine choice works is that it contains thousands of little air bubbles between thick layers of paper, which can store st least eight ounces of fluids. That's why Masculine Choice lasts up to 12 hours, while most other pads just last 8. And these pads are biodegradable, which helps the environment. Father: So you see, Masculine Choice can hold a whole lot of sperm without making sheets wet. Son: Wow! I'll be sure to get some next time at the store. Thank you for this man-to-man talk. Father: So well, I guess you know that being a man isn't all that bad. Son: You're right. [ they walk off, into the sunset ] Announcer: Masculine Choice. Because you're too old to wet your bed. [ SUPER: (read) "Not to be used as a birth control device. Masculine Choice must be diposed of directly after use." ] Rate or review this sketch. |
