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[Infomercial that starts with a close shot of a smiling chubby guy sitting down with a towel around his neck, you can only see him from the chest up and there is a gym in the background] Guy: Are you like me? I had tried everything to get rid of those annoying love handles. And I do mean everything; Sit-ups, side bends, running, dieting, you name it, I did it. I even tried fasting...nothing worked. That is, until a friend at the gym recommend, "Love Shears"! [raises up a sporty looking pair of garden shears with foam handles that read "Love Shears" and has a yellow lighting bolt] With a few simple steps, [flashes to scene of the same guy violently shearing his love handles off, he is screaming and violently shaking shaking his head. Blood is squirting everywhere] [back to guy sitting, now full shot with bandages on his side] I was able to take off 12 lbs and get that slim physique I had always wanted. Now people are going to tell you "it is going to hurt", pay no matter. I would be lying if I told you there wasn't a slight stinging sensation and some recovery time. [flashes to hospital scene with medics trying to resuscitate him] I have found with dedication, and a sharp set of shears, [holds up the shears, now covered in blood] the possibilities are endless. After all, NO PAIN, [flashes to floor shot of some old style gym shoes and socks with red stripes. A large piece of flesh slaps against the floor and you hear a scream] NO GAIN Male Voiceover: [close shot of Love Shears setting out next to a sporty carrying case] Act now to get that body you have always wanted. Love Shears are only one easy payment of $29.99. And, If you act now, we will include the handy "Thigh Shears",[small, garden clippers with the same foam handles appear with a "ding" sound next to the Love Shears] because c'mon guys, the ladies are not the only ones with that little thigh problem! Best of all, they are absolutely free! Act now! Rate or review this sketch. |
