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Mr. Twinkie.....Horatio Sanz Sheriff.....Will Ferrell Little Debbie.....Rachel Dratch Zebra Cake.....Darrel Hammond Narrarator.....Chris Parnell Narrator: It's The Adventures of Mr.Twinkie!Episode One:"Where's the creme filling?" (Opens up in Mr. Twinkie's bed room where there appears to be a man dressed up in a giant twinkie costume and twinkie shoes next to his small dog, Cupcake, sitting on the bed watching television) Television: Oh,I'm so full of peas today! Mr. Twinkie: Ha ha ha!!! Cupcake: Bark! Mr. Twinkie: That's funny! Ha Ha! Cupcake: Bark, bark! Mr. Twinkie: I know! (phone rings) Uh oh,Cupcake! The Twinkie phone is ringing!! (he picks it up) Hello? (You can hear someone talking on the other end)Oh,No! Yes,I'm available right now...(rumbling) you don't say!! I wonder what kind of mad man has done this! I'll be over there in less than two twinkie minutes! (he hangs up the phone and gets out of bed) Holy King-Dongs, Cupcake! Someone has stolen all the creme filling out of every single scrumtious Hostess cake! You know what this means! Cupcake: Bark! Mr. Twinkie: That's right! To the Hostess Mobile!!!! (they run into the next room and get into the Hostess Mobile. Camara cuts to a store with it's glass all broken and partially on fire and is surrounded by police men. Mr. Twinkie and Cupcake come running up to the Sheriff) Sheriff: Mr.Twinkie!! Thank God you're here, man! Mr. Twinkie: Yes, yes! I am acompanied by my trusty canine snack, Cupcake! Cupcake: Bark! Sheriff: We have no idea who exactly has done this,but it's the same all over the country! Chaos everywhere!! Can you find the one responsible for this? We'll pay you whatever you ask! Mr. Twinkie: No need for that! I'll work for free! ...maybe a big bag of those mini-blueberry muffins, I love those things! Cupcake: Bark! Sheriff: Anything! Anything you ask, name it and it's yours! Mr. Twinkie: One thing that I can tell is whoever did this will pay for stealing all that delicious cream filling, or my name isn't Mr. Twinkie!! Cupcake: Bark!! Sheriff: Mr. Twinkie! Look behind you!! (suddenly,a man dressed in a giant zebra cake costume jumps behind Mr. Twinkie.He turns around) Mr. Twinkie: Zebra Cake!! Zebra Cake: Hello, Mr. TWINKIE! Mr. Twinkie: So we meet again! Which one of your men did you have do this? Swiss Cake Roll, Oatmeal Creme Pie, or...Peanut Butter Bar?!! Zebra Cake: No no no, my big yellow enemy, I'm working for a big fiend now! Mr. Twinkie: No! Don't tell me you're working for- Zebra Cake: Yes! Mr. Twinkie: Little Debbie!!!! Oh,no! (Little Debbie jumps out from behind Zebra Cake) Cupcake: Bark! Little Debbie: It's true! It is I, Little Debbie! Mr. Twinkie: You're the one behind all this!! Little Debbie: Yes! I took the country's precious Hostess creme, and now I'll take yours! Mr. Twinkie: No! You can't! My creme is my power! Get em', Cupcake! Cupcake: Bark, bark, bark (growls) ...bark! Little Debbie: No, I'm afraid it won't be that easy - get the dog, Zebra Cake! Mr. Twinkie: NOOO! (Mr. Twinkie pushes a button on his wrist and squirts Zebra Cake with his creme soaker) Zebra Cake: Yuck! Do you know what this looks like! EEEW! Little Debbie: You think you're smart, don't you, Mr.T winkie! Little did you know that I have a trick up my sleeve, too! (She wacks him in head with her umbrella. He falls down unconscious. Setting changes to a dark dungeon where Mr. Twinkie is lying on a table and Cupcake is in a cage. Out comes Little Debbie with a giant syringe) Little Debbie: Wake up, Mr.Twinkie!! You're about to be cremeless! Mr. Twinkie: Little Debbie! Where am I? Where's Cupcake? What are you going to do with that syringe? Little Debbie: Oh shut your cake hole!! If I'm gonna do this I'm gonna need you to shut up with your stupid questions!! Sheesh! (she puts the needle in Mr. Twinkie's side) This might hurt a little! Mr. Twinkie: Wait! Before you do it, tell me why you stole all the delicious creme out of every Hostess snack! Little Debbie: With Hostess out of the way, Little Debbie snacks will flourish and become the most popular snack...in the world!! Hostess will be no more! Ha ha ha!!! Mr. Twinkie: What are you gonna do with MY creme? Little Debbie: Eh, crap if I know, now roll over and shut up! Mr. Twinkie: NO! Don't! Cupcake: Bark! Narrator: Is this the end of Mr. Twinkie and Cupcake? Will Little Debbie destroy Hostess for good? Find out next time on...The Adventures of Mr. Twinkie!!! But first, here's a scene from the next episode! (The same setting. Little Debbie has the needle in Mr. Twinkie's side and she's laughing) Little Debbie: Ha ha ha ha ha!!! Mr. Twinkie: Oh, no! Cupcake: Bark! Mr. Twinkie: Hey, Little Debbie! Little Debbie: What? Mr. Twinkie: Bite my ass! (Suddenly he kicks the syringe out of her hand and kicks her in the face) Little Debbie: OUCH! OWW! (she falls) Cupcake: Bark! (Mr. Twinkie stands up and gets cupcake out of the cage) Mr. Twinkie: Nice try, Little Debbie! Your plan sucked. Let's go, Cupcake! Our job is done here! To the Hostess Mobile! Little Debbie: NOOOOOOO! Cupcake: Bark! Narrator: We'll see you next time on...The Adventures of Mr.Twinkie!! (echoes and fades to black) Rate or review this sketch. |
