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Announcer/Mother.....Ana Gasteyer Doctor.....Tracy Morgan Nurse.....Rachel Dratch [ setting takes place in a darkened bathroom.Camera zooms in on object on top of the toilet yet you're unable to make out what it is ] Announcer: Brawney. It's the name your family trusts. Number one in quality and durability. Whenever you have a big mess,you know Brawney is the brand you can count on. Well, first there was Brawney's super durable paper towels; double quilted so it can take over any kind of spill and won't break or tear, and can be re-used again, and again, and again. And now the brand you love unleashes the wave of the future... (room lights up) ..re-usable toilet paper!!!! (camera zooms in on toilet paper) Just one roll can last up to six whole months, and four rolls can last up to two years! How, you ask? it's simple! (cuts to animation like in the actual commercials,shows how the toilet paper is made) Unlike other leading brands, Brawney re-useable toilet paper is quadruple quilted and scented, so you get the best protection at the best price. (setting goes back to bathroom) Plus, it also has three different designs you can choose from: "Walking the dogs", "Home sweet home", and "Takin' a load off"! (little boy runs in the bathroom and sits on toilet) And it won't wear and tear like the other brands. Just one sheet of our toilet paper can be re-used up to seven times!! That's right! When you're finished using it, just straighten it out and set it on top of your toilet until you make the next visit! (when he is finished using the toilet paper he sets it on the toilet, flushes it and leaves the room) The other brands can only be used once! (the mother walks in and sits on the toilet and picks up the toilet paper the boy had just sat on the toilet) And, if you're a knife or a gun-shot wound victim, Brawney re-usable toilet paper might even save your life, and that's something to think about. (setting goes to emergency room in hospital) Doctor: We need something to to stop the bleeding! Stat! Nurse; Doctor, we're all out of gauze! Doctor: Fine! Get me Brawney's re-usable toilet paper! (setting returns to bathroom. The mother sets the toilet paper back on the toilet and she gets up) Announcr: Brawney re-usable toilet paper... it's heavy duty protection. (she turns light off. Fades to black) Rate or review this sketch. |
