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Pat Sajak ... Bill Clinton ... Darrell Hammond Cyndi Lauper ... Herself Mr. T ... Himself (He needs money too badly) Announcer: Welcome to "Celebrity Wheel of Fortune"! With your host, Pat Seyjack! Pat Sajak: Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to this edition of "Celebrity Wheel of Fortune"! Today we have a great show with three great contestants, and here they are... Bill Clinton. Bill Clinton: Hello, Pat! Pat Sajak: Cyndi Lauper... Cyndi Lauper: [Shaking, apparently on cocaine] [Suddenly, out loud] HI !!!! Pat Sajak: [Unsure] Ok..., and finally, Mr. T. Mr. T: [Shouting] T!!!!! Pat Sajak: Please, wait until it is your turn, Mr. T... It's Mr. Clinton's turn now... Bill Clinton: I'd like to buy a ho please. Pat Sajak: Mister Clinton, you need money to buy a "O". Bill Clinton: Well I have money, and I want a ho ! Pat Sajak: Useless. Cyndi Lauper, why don't you turn the wheel ? [Cyndi Lauper waits a few seconds, wakes up, spins the wheel and grabs another stick on the wheel so it keeps spinning] Pat Sajak: Miss Lauper, please refrain from turning the wheel more than once. [Cyndi keeps spinning the wheel] Pat Sajak: Mrs. Lauper? [Cyndi keeps turning the wheel while doing some high-pitched sounds] Pat Sajak: Ok Mr.T, why don't you give us a letter so we can begin to play. Mr. T: [Shouting] T!!! Pat Sajak: Turn the wheel and then, guess a letter, please. Mr. T: [Shouting] T!!! Pat Sajak: I am in hell. Bill Clinton, it's your turn now. Bill Clinton: I'd like to take a ho, please. Pat Sajak: You need money for that. Turn the wheel and guess a letter to win money! Bill Clinton: I sure would, but Mrs Lauper keeps abusing it. [Zoom on Cyndi Lauper, turning the wheel again and again] Bill Clinton: Are there any hos out there ? Pat Sajak: You need money to buy a "O" !! Oh and let me check... [Looking at his card] No, there are no "O"s on the board, so stop asking for it! Bill Clinton: But what if I want a ho... ? Pat Sajak: Oh, and get lost, Cyndi... ? [Cyndi Lauper keeps turning the wheel and you can hear "Only money and bankrupt on this wheel, when can you win some crack?"] Pat Sajak: [sighing] Mr. T, why don't you save this situation before I kill myself? Mr. T: [Shouting] T!!!! [Buzz announcing the end] Pat Sajak: [With no intonation] Finally. Pat Sajak: Well folks, that's all the time we had for today, no money has been won today. I, for one, better understand Alex Trebek now. If you have spare time, watch us next time where we will have 3 new guests: Sean Connery, Anne Heche and Britney Spears. [Theme of "Wheel of Fortune" playing] [Screen fades out] Rate or review this sketch. |
