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President George W. Bush.....Will Ferrell
Announcer: And Now a message from the President of the United States of America. President George W. Bush: My fellow Americans, I come to you today to talk about something. Something close to my heart. Patriotism in movies. Now earlier this year we had a movie come out about this. You many remember this movie known as "Pearl Harbor". Now my daddy told me "Son, if you wanna seem like a good president go see this movie." Well I thought it looked like crap. But I said Ok. Well on my first attempt I saw "The Mummy Returns". We no longer have any mummy artifacts of any sort. And I made it a law that the Rock may never do a motion picture again. Then, as I was about to walk into "Pearl Harbor", I saw a shiny green sign. I dont know exactly what it said but I think it was shack. A donkey and a green thing were in it and i loved it. I saw it again with momma and then with daddy. Then with Laura. I loved it, go see it. The I saw "A.I." After that I asked Dick Cheney about his pacemaker. I asked if its love for him was real but it was not (snickers). Then he threatened to fire me. Next was "Dr. Dolittle 2". After that I spent the next three days with my dog trying to talk to her. She never said any thing but I feel closer to her know. Then their was "Jurassic Park 3". DAMN THAT WAS COOL. And I feel I learned a little about history. I know now that dinosaurs don't love me and I love them. So I had all dinosaur bones burned also. Then as the last movie of the summer I saw "Planet of the Apes". And that scared the living crap outta me. So as of now all apes, monkeys and people who look like monkeys are to be killed. That just scared me. Those damn dirty apes just are freaky. DAMN THEM, DAMN THEM ALL TO HELL. So as I look back on my summer of films, I realize 1. I cant accomplish one thing without Dick Cheney's help, and 2. "Pearl Harbor" must not have been too good because if it was I would have seen it. Good night, America. Rate or review this sketch. |
