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.....Brad Garrett .....Lorne Michaels .....Candice Bergen [ Brad Garrett enters Home Base, visibly nervous ] Brad Garrett: [ takes a deep breath as the applause dies down ] Thank you. It's great to be back in "Saturday Night Live", hosting New York. [ awkward pause ] No.. no, I said that wrong, I think.. Uh.. [ Brad quickly stomps away from Home Base and retreats backstage, where he reaches for a bottle of water while hyperventilating ] Lorne Michaels: Brad, what happened? Brad Garrett: I screwed up, Lorne! Didn't you notice! Lorne Michaels: It was one little flub, what's the big deal? Brad Garrett: One little flub?! Lorne, it was the first line! Do you know how embarrassing that is? Lorne Michaels: Brad, I think you're overreacting. Brad Garrett: Lorne, you don't know the full story. All week long, Ray Romano and Peter Boyle have been teasing me about hosting the show. They've hosted before, and they feel pretty proud of themselves, and they've been telling me all week not to make a boob of myself! And what do I do? I screw up the very first line! Lorne Michaels: It's a live show, people flub their lines all the time. Listen, we'll use the dress copy on the rerun, you were fabulous. Brad Garrett: It's just not the same, Lorne! Nobody tunes in for the reruns, they're all watching tonight, right now! I've left my mark. I am a world-class boob. Lorne Michaels: Here, let me introduce you to someone who can explain this better to you. [ looks off-camera ] Candice? Could you come here? Candice Bergen: [ enters ] Hi, Lorne. Is everything okay? Lorne Michaels: Candice, Brad flubbed his opening line, and he's lost his confidence to continue the rest of the show. Candice Bergen: Oh, Brad, don't let it bother you. I once flubbed my line, too. Remember the "Right To Stupidity" sketch? Brad Garrett: I know other hosts have flubbed lines, Candice, but they don't have to return to work with Peter Boyle and Ray Romano first thing Monday morning. Candice Bergen: Oh, forget about Peter Boyle! Do you think it's an accident that he plays a grumpy old man on TV? He's been a grumpy old man since he was thirty! Brad Garrett: I know.. but he and Ray are gonna make fun of me for messing up the first line. Candice Bergen: But other than leaving the stage, you handled it well. Now, compare that to my flub - I mistakenly called Gilda Radner's character by my character's name, and then I laughed like a hyena during the rest of the sketch! Brad Garrett: [ silent ] You must have felt rather foolish, Candice. Candice Bergen: Of course, I did. But, looking back now, I think it's hilarious! And it certainly didn't ruin my career. Ten years later, CBS gave me my own show, "Murphy Brown". Brad Garrett: So, you're saying I need to loosen up, that if I don't take myself so seriously, this on-air blooper will actually make me more famous? Candice Bergen: That's right! Brad Garrett: Hmm.. I never thought of it that way. Lorne Michaels: Do you feel better, Brad? Brad Garrett: Yes, Lorne, I believe I do. Lorne Michaels: Why don't you go finish your monologue. Brad Garrett: What a splendid idea. [ exits ] Candice Bergen: [ shaking head ] What a boob. [ cut back to Home Base ] Brad Garrett: Alright, folks, we have a great show tonight. Mariah Carey's ego is here, so.. [ confused again ] ..back around, we'll be right.. stick..? [ smiles and nods excitedly ] Yeah, we'll be right stick! Back around! Back around! Rate or review this sketch. |
