|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Jeff (interviewer).....Will Ferrell Jimmy Goldberg (applicant).....Jon Stewart (Jimmy gets called into Jeff's office to began the interview.) Jeff: Hi. You must be Jimmy Goldberg. I'm Jeff. It's nice to meet you. How are you? (Shake hands.) Jimmy: (Extremely excited) How am I? Oh my God! This is the most excited I've been since the debut of MSNBC! Jeff: (Already a little bit startled) Okaaay. So you want to work for NBC? Jimmy: Like you wouldn't believe. It's my all-time number one favorite channel. It's been a part of my life ever since I was conceived during an episode of Meet the Press. Jeff: (Somewhat startled by that comment.) Awwright. That's fine and everything, but it says here on your application that you didn't even graduate high school? Jimmy: I wanted to but the classes just conflicted with NBC's superb day time lineup. A high school education just can't compete with the "Today Show". Jeff: The "Today Show"? Jimmy: Oh yeah. I've watched the "Today Show" every morning since the show started. My morning doesn't start till Matt Lauer and Katie Couric tell me it does! Jeff: I don't know Jimmy. That sounds a little odd. (Thinks about what Jimmy just said.) Actually, very odd. Jimmy: (Very excited) I don't think you understand. NBC is a part of me man! I was born for this job! All the shows mean so much to me in their own way. I don't know what I'd do without my "NBC Nightly News". Tom Brokaw is like a father to me, stern yet caring. I feel "Suddenly Susan" is our greatest cultural achievement of the 20th century! Jeff: Look Jimmy, your enthusiasm for NBC is great, if not bordering on startling, but were looking for more than that. You just don't seem to be qualified for this job. I'm sorry. Jimmy: Okay, get this! One time I watched NBC for 164 consecutive hours until I fell into a coma during the final episode of "Veronica's Closet"! It really got to me. Jeff: I'm gonna have to ask you to leave. Jimmy: The last time I watched "Dateline NBC", Stone Phillips' smooth on air presence made me question my own sexuality! Jeff: You are one sick bastard. Jimmy: Wait! Look at this! (Takes off shirt revealing gigantic NBC peacock logo covering his torso. Jimmy smiles with pride.) Jeff: That's truly horrible. Leave now. Jimmy: Hold on! Watch this. (Jimmy starts spouting out every show to appear on NBC in chronological order.) Jeff: Watching every NBC program ever to air is not necessary. Just stop. Jimmy: But it's called "Must See TV"? Jeff: It's a slogan, not a way of life. Jimmy: So now you tell me. (Jimmy realizes he is defeated and begans walking for the door) Jimmy: Did I tell you that I had my first sexual experience during an episode of "Saturday Night Live"? Jeff: (Indignant) What? Jimmy: Oh yeah! It was real hot! Robert Urich was the host. Jeff: Okay that does it. (On phone now.) Security! Jimmy: Okay okay. Point taken.. It's because I'm Jewish isn't it? Jeff: Jewish?! It's because you're a freak! You're a walking "TV Guide"! Now get out of my office! (Jimmy finally leaves and begins to prepare for his next interview. He's now outside the CBS building an can be seen rubbing off his NBC logo, and begins to apply a new CBS logo on his chest.) (Then comes a voice-over): After being turned down by 74 other television stations, a moving speech about how "Married With Children" changed his life forever finally landed Jimmy a job with FOX, his last choice. END Rate or review this sketch. |
