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Three women in their 30's, DONNA, ARLENE, and MEREDITH, are sitting at a table talking. Meredith: So what'd you all do last night? Arlene: Well after what the Episcopals did to us, me and Marvin started our own religion. Meredith: Oh yeah. What makes your religion different from other ones? Arlene: Well unlike most religions, our religion only believes in one god. And just because there are only three of us in the religion, myself, Marvin, and our neighbor Ron Handsover...his real name's Big Giant Penis but he changed his name to Ron Handsover...doesn't make our religion a cult. It is official. Meredith: Well you know what me and Tim did last night? Arlene: What? Meredith: We played checkers. Arlene: Oh. You slut! Meredith: I know and it was fun. Arlene: How bout you Donna? Played any board games with Tom recently? Donna hangs her head down and tears up. Arlene and Meredith both look concerned. Arlene: Oh Donna. What's wrong? Donna: Well, me and Tom have been having some problems. Meredith: What kind of problems? Donna: (emotional) Well. Last night, after Tom came home, we were both just sitting there, ready to get it on. But when we started to do it, we just couldn't. (cries) We couldn't understand the directions! Meredith: Well what game were you playing? Donna: Parcheesi. Meredith: Oh well. That's a hard game. Anyone could get confused by that. Donna: Oh it's just not Parcheesi. It's everything. Candy Land, Chutes and Ladders, Yahtzee... Arlene: When did this all start? Donna: Well it all started about two months ago when we were about to play Monopoly. We opened the box, dealt out the money, picked tokens and that was it. We just couldn't go any further. The directions were just too hard! (cries) Meredith: Oh Donna. Have you seen someone about this? Donna: I've tried to talk to Tom about seeing someone but he just ignores it. He doesn't want to admit that there is a problem. But there is a problem! There is a problem! (sniffs and wipes her eyes) But wait it gets worse. I've been seeing another man. Arlene: Oh no. Donna: Yes. His name's Richard. He knows how to do it all. You name it and he can figure it out. In fact last night, after Tom went to bed, I snuck out and went to his house and we played "Scrabble" all night long. Meredith: Was he good? Arlene: Meredith! Meredith: Well. Donna: Oh he was fantastic. This was good hard-core "Scrabble". You wouldn't believe some of the words he came up with and oh, the times he got the Triple Letter Score. Oomph. I'm supposed to meet him again tonight for a game of "Uncle Wiggly". Arlene: Donna. You can't keep this up. Donna: Well it's not just me Arlene. Tom's been playin' around too. Arlene: No! Donna: Yeah. Yesterday when I was doing the laundry, I found pick up sticks in his back pocket. Meredith: Oh Donna. We're so sorry. I guess I shouldn't of said anything about me and Tim playing checkers last night. Donna: No Meredith. It's not your fault. It's Parker Brothers! (really belts out with a cry) Ohhh! Fade out. Rate or review this sketch. |
