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Steve.....Chris Kattan Blue voice over.....Seann William Scott Mailbox.....Tina Fey Kids.....Haratio Sanz and Chris Parnell Mrs. Rum.....Rachel Dratch Mr. Whiskey.....Darrell Hammond Steve: (drowsy) Hi kids im not feeling to well it seems like someone hid my insulin. Blue: woof woof Steve: Blue do you know where my insulin is? Blue: (puts paw print shaped like a middle finger on the glass) Steve: Well it's not the trademark clue but i guess i got the picture lets play blues clues! Mailbox: Mail Time Steve: Well heres the mail it ne....(faints gets up) awww screw it (opens mail) shows video of two kids with hockey masks. Kid 1: We hate you Steve Kid 2: Yea and tomorrow were going to throw a brick through your window. Steve: Hey this is yesterdays mail! (brick hits him in the head) Ow! Kids: a clue a clue Steve: No kids screw you! Oh... a clue, where? Kids: On the brick Steve: Oh... this calls for my handy dandy... well i lost my notebook so i'll just draw it on this cocktail napkin (looks on the back it reads call this number if you want a good time 555-0988) whoa what was i drinking last night (draws brick on napkin) oh lets continue looking for clues. (door swings open and hits him in the face) Steve: ahhhh i think i broke my nose. Kids: a clue Steve: achoo what the hell i didn't sneeze you stupid little f***ers. ohh a clue on the door (draws it on the napkin) Mr. Whiskey and Mrs. Rum: (in scottish and irish accents) oh sorry we opened the door on your nose Steve were just going to go bust a cap in that slippery soap want to join us? Steve: nah i have to get going. Mr. Whiskey and Mrs. Rum: Well okay (walks off screaming in the background) Kids: A clue Steve: all right kids i have a confession so listen up you gay little pieces of sh** i'm not that stupid i can clearly see the paw print on the wiskey (draws in on) Kids: (crying) Steve: I can also see that these clues point to my brick liqueor cabinet. (walks to cabinet) my insulin... even better liqueor...(throws insulin away takes a big swig of rum.) (drunk voice) goodnight kiddies you stupid monkey f...(music inturrupts him fades out) Rate or review this sketch. |
