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Tim.....Will Ferrell Elaine.....Rachel Dratch Elaine: (on phone) So Tim where should we go out tonight? Tim: (on phone) That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I can’t go out with you tonight. Elaine: Why not? Tim: Well it’s hard to explain. Elaine: Can I guess? Tim: If you want. Elaine: Is it because I’m fat? Tim: No. Elaine: Is it because of my mother? Tim: No Elaine: Is it because you overheard me calling you a dumbass? Tim: No Elaine: Is it because I made you turn off the TV when it was the bottom of the 9th and the game was tied? Tim: No Elaine: Is it because when we went out to dinner, even though I knew you were having money trouble I purposely ordered the most expensive meal? Tim: No Elaine: Is it because you caught me having sex with Fernando? Tim: No Elaine: Is it because I got you fired? Tim: No Elaine: Is it because I made fun of you for being impotent. Tim: No Elaine: Is it because I called your mom a fat whore? Tim: No Elaine: The coke habit? Tim: No Elaine: My allegiance to the KKK? Tim: No Elaine: The annoying clicking sound I make? Tim: No Elaine: Is it because I think pro-wrestling is 100% completely real? Tim: No Elaine: Is it because of that lesbian porno flick I made? Tim: No Elaine: Is it because I secretly auditioned you for gay porn? Tim: No Elaine: The whole "I can’t read" thing? Tim: No Elaine: Is it because I fought for Iraq in the Persian Gulf war? Tim: No Elaine: Is it because I deal heroin? Tim: No Elaine: Is it because I shot a cop? Tim: No Elaine: Is it because I almost pulled a Lorena Bobbit on you? Tim: No Elaine: Is it because of my involvement in the Oklahoma City Bombing Tim: No Elaine: Then, what???? Tim: Well, because "Live, from New York, it’s Saturday Night!" Rate or review this sketch. |
