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EXT. IN FRONT OF ROMAN COLISEUM - RAINY AFTERNOON GUARD 1 and GUARD 2 again stand next to each other, watching the rain falling down offscreen. Guard 1: You ever wonder what the rain is? Guard 2: Well not really. It's water, isn't it? Guard 1: Well yeah, it's water, but it must come from somewhere. Guard 2: Well it comes from the heavens. Guard 1: I know it comes from the heavens! But why does it come? Guard 2: Well maybe Zeus is just coming out of the pool or something. As he dries off, the water drips off him and lands down here. Guard 1: There's no pool on Mount Olympus! Guard 2: How do you know? Guard 1: Because it's a frickin' mountain. It's slopes. You can't have a pool on a slope! Guard 2: Well maybe Zeus is crying then? Guard 1: What the hell does he have to be sad about? He's a frickin' god! If he wants something, all he has to do is zap it up! Guard 2: Well maybe it's his urine then! Guard 1: You know, that was really un-called for. You didn't have to go there. All I asked you was if you knew what the rain was. Guard 2: And I told you! It's urine! Guard 1: First of all. Rain would be yellow if that was the case. Second of all. I just can't see Zeus sneaking around in the bushes, lifting up his toga, and taking a leak. It's just not very godlike. Guard 2: Well I like my pool theory. Guard 1: Look! He's got frickin' oceans and lakes and rivers all around him. He don't need no goddamn pool! Guard 2: How do you know what Zeus needs? Guard 1: He shouldn't need anything! He's a God!!! Guard 2: Look maybe, Zeus isn't even involved in rain. Maybe it's just something that happens naturally. Guard 1: Now that's just the stupidest thing I've heard yet. BLACK OUT. Rate or review this sketch. |
