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Danny.....Chris Kattan Dad.....Chris Parnell Mom.....Ana Gasteyer Lesson One Mock water set- Danny and his parents are on a small boat. Dad is behind the wheel. Danny sits next to his mother. The boat stops. Dad: Son why dontcha come over here to the side for a minute, I want to show you something important. Danny hops over joyously. Danny: What is it Dad? Dad looks behind him for Mom who waves for him to wait. The sound of another motor boat can be heard. Mom follows other boat with her eyes as the sound fades. Danny continues to look at the water grinning. Danny: what what is it? What could it be? Dad looks to Mom: she gives the go ahead signal. Dad pushed Danny off the boat and leaps for the wheel. He turns the key and they speed off leaving Danny there. Subtitles: 10 HOURS LATER On a dock, a weepy Mom is held by Dad. The police are there with a notepad. Spot lights shine into the water. Police: So your son Danny fell out of the boat twenty minutes ago? Dad-That's correct officer. Mom weeps. Police: It's okay Ma'am, the water isn't that cold, we may find him soon. Just then some splashing sounds are heard as they watch an exhausted Danny climb up the dock ladder. Mom and Dad are shocked, they look at Danny, the police and back at Danny who is lying on his stomach exhausted. Mom bends down acting overconcerned for the sake of the police (very bad acting). Mom: Danny, are you ok? Danny: Well, I'm tired (breathing heavy) but, I'll be okay. Mom, dad, (getting up a little, sweet music begins to play for effect) Thank you. Your tough love has helped me to realize the importance of water safety. I'll wear my life jacket from now on. You're the best parents on earth! He collapses again. His mom pats his head, smiling at the police. The END of Lesson One LESSON Two Danny, Mom and Dad are in a station wagon headed to the Great Forest for the weekend. Danny: Wow, the Great Forest! What an adventure! The car stops in the woods. Mom and dad get out and stand by the car. Danny gets out grinning. Mom: Danny why don't you go over to that stream and see if you can see any bears? Danny: Won't the bears hurt me Mom? Dad-Not if you don't hurt them son. Danny runs out of frame. Mom and Dad jump back in the car and leave him. Sub Titled: Three days later The police are at their house. Mom is being consoled by Dad. Police: So Danny never came home from school today? Dad: No Officer, we're crazy with worry. Just then the sounds of panting are heard as Danny crawls into frame. Mom acting concerned- Danny! You're home! Danny (panting)- Mom, Dad. (Sweet Music begins) Thank you, for this tough love lesson. The forest is a dangerous place and I will never play ther again. Animals belong in forests, humans belong in houses. Mom and Dad look at each other- why can't they get this right? The end of Lesson two Rate or review this sketch. |
