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.....Gwyneth Paltrow Bruce Paltrow.....Will Ferrell Blythe Danner.....Ana Gasteyer Buffy.....Amy Poehler Cliff.....Chris Kattan Gwyneth Paltrow: Thank you! Wow... thank you so much! It's so great to be here in New York City! [applause] I just have to say that it's such a treat to be hosting Saturday Night Live for the second time. It's also great that along with my new movie "Shallow Hal" which opened just yesterday, I'm also getting this wonderful chance to show a different, less serious side of myself. [pauses] This all has a deeper meaning to me because over the past couple of years, somehow I've gotten the repuation of being a princess. Many people seem to think that I'm spoiled and out of touch with reality and I'm really unapproachable... but hopefully, my new movie and the fact that I'm here tonight can show you all that it's just not true. My parents raised my brother and I to be very down to earth and recognize what's truly important in life-- [Bruce Paltrow and Blythe Danner enter from offstage] Bruce Paltrow: GYNWETH! It's so good to see you, my dear. Gwyneth Paltrow: Ummm... hi, Dad. What are you doing here? Bruce Paltrow: Simple, my darling. Your mum and I wanted to be here to support you as you bring humor and mirth to the lowly masses! Gwyneth Paltrow: Come on... don't say that... Blythe Danner: Gwynie... remember what we always taught you. You're above them all. Remember that. Gwyneth Paltrow: Mom... you're not helping. [Cliff and Buffy enter] Gwyneth Paltrow: Oh Jesus... who the hell are you two supposed to be? Cliff: [shocked] But Gwyneth... we're your old childhood chums... Cliff and Buffy. Don't you remember us? Gwyneth Paltrow: No. No, I don't. Buffy: Oh Gwyneth... remember the yacht parties... the croquet games... tossing dirt clods at the Kensington's negro gardner on hot summer afternoons? Gwyneth Paltrow: What the hell are you two talking about?! I don't even know either of you. Go away! Bruce Paltrow: Gwynie! Is that any way to speak to your friends? Gwyneth Paltrow: Okay... look... [to Cliff and Buffy] I don't know either of you. You're not my friends. [to Bruce Paltrow and Blythe Danner] And to you guys... this is why I never call or write. [growls] Now get the hell out of here! [Bruce Paltrow, Blythe Danner, Cliff, and Buffy all leave as Gwyneth Paltrow gathers herself and takes a deep breath.] Gwyneth Paltrow: All right! Regardless of that... we have a great show! Ryan Adams is here... so stick around we'll be right back! Rate or review this sketch. |
