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Open On: Movie Theatre Richard: (walking back to his seat, holding his popcorn suspiciously close to his crotch) I got the popcorn. Nina: Good, I was getting nervous. Audience shushes the couple Richard: (anxious) Here, would you like some popcorn? Nina: No thanks. Richard: Are you sure? Nina: Yes. Richard: (going in for the kill) You don't know what you're missing. Ever since they made it healthy, it's just been getting better. Nina: (getting the point) Richard, is there some reason you want me to eat some popcorn? Richard: (nervous) No, of course not. Audience shushes the couple Nina: Richard, I want you to know that if you want me to eat the popcorn, I won't do it for sexual pleasure, but for hunger. Richard: Well of course, Nina. That's what it's for. Nina: Alright then. (grabs a handfull) Richard: Well, you don't need to grab so much. Nina: I didn't grab "so much," I grabbed a good handful. Richard: You grabbed too much. Audience shushes the couple Nina: For goodness sake Richard, how much is too much? Just a minute ago, you wanted me to grab your penis, now you're as tight as a vise. Richard: I did not want you to grab my penis, I haven't even got my penis in the box! Nina: Frankly, I don't care about you and your penis. (walks off) Usher: Sir, I'm afraid you must leave. The audience has filed several complaints against you and the woman sitting next to you. (grabs some popcorn) Hey, good popcorn. Richard: stares at the usher [ SUPER: Can't get that on Comedy Central. ] Rate or review this sketch. |
