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Pitchman.....Seth Meyers Traumatized Suburban Mother.....Gwyneth Paltrow Effie.....Tina Fey [ Open on: Therapist's office-day ] Pitchman: So, tell me again how this happened. Traumatized Suburban Mother: I had called home to tell my maid Estelle to collar the children so that they don't get into their birthday presents. Effie: No, you lie. You told me to de-flower the children. Traumatized Suburban Mother: Why would I tell my own maid to molest my children! Really! Pitchman: Calm down, calm down. Motions to kids (Rachel Dratch and Jimmy Fallon, both nervous) Pitchman: Children, children, do you think that this was because of a bad phone connection? Kids: (scared) Yes! Announcer: New Sprint Wireless 1,000. To prevent moments like this. (Pitchman exits therapy office) Pitchman: Sure, it's too late for them, but it's not for you. (Fade out on Effie, mom and kids all arguing with each other) Announcer: Sprint. The phone company of child molesters. Rate or review this sketch. |
