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Characters *Burnadette Bucket: Around a 38 year old lady, a man hungry women, thinking she is attractive, even though her rear end is as wide as a refrigerator. Always in a pair of spandex. Hair always looking like a rats nest. A front tooth cap always seems to fall out when she smiles at a handsome man. *Other's are frustrated shoppers in a rush, and employees trying to rid of Burnadette as soon as possible. Characters movement *Burnadette's rear end is like a double trailored semi truck swaying back and forth, like in a hurricane. Always dancing to a song on her headphones, even singing out loud, shaking her butt. When ever in company, by the opposite sex, she is trying to show off her cleavage, as well as what she thinks is attractive, her huge butt. Really wants to find her Mr. Right, and will go to any desperate measures to find him. *Customer's and employees alway's seem scared of Burnadette, and try to flee from her as much as possible. Setting INT> In a shopping mall-in the afternoon Act 1> Customer #1: (angry, trying to get by Burnadette's rear) Outta the way Bucket Ass Burnadette: (rattling her head, to regain conciousness after she falls, rolls back up immediately back on to her feet) Hey!!, Watch were you're going there, Buddy!!" Customer #1: (giggling) Weebles do wobble and they "don't" fall down!!! Customer #2: (trying to make it by, staring at her rear in disgust) Why don't you melt down some of that "Lard Ass!" Burnadette: (Smiling showing off her dangling cap, sticking her butt in his direction) Why don't you heat it up for me there 'BIG FELLA' Customer #2: (Gasping, shivering in shock, hacking nearly puking) Woooah, brrrr! Act2> INT> Lingerie isle Burnadette: (shuffling through the panties and bras, hitting the play button on her headset, starts singing the lines, and shaking her rear, to the song heard in the background, "Baby got back" by Sir Mixalot, also putting a gallon of vinager in her cart says) Gotta be nice and fresh, for ma big night out tanight Salesperson: (Slipping a large green tarp into her cart, and a bungie cord, with the other items in her cart) This is definately gonna be a perfect fit on you Burnadette: (reaching for the salesman in a horned up way) Strap it on me baby! Strap it on! Act3 End> Burnadette: (just about mounting the guy, as he is trying to kick and fight her off, she is pretty much, lap dancing on the guy to the song, smothering him) Rate or review this sketch. |
