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Jerry Seinfeld.....Jimmy Fallon Eric Nederlander.....Will Ferrell Voice Over.....Darrell Hammond [Begins with a picutre of a CD entitled 'Jerry Does the Classics'. The CD has a picuture of a smiling Jerry Seinfeld.] Voice Over: It wasn't so long ago that he was 'Telling us for the last time.' but now he's back and he's telling us the classics for the first time anywhere. That's right, fans may have been worried 3 years ago, when he retired his act, that they might never get to enjoy their favorite funnyman on convenient CD format ever again. But your fears were for not. Jerry won't let the fact that he can't come up with any original material stop him. Oh no, he's back and funnier than ever, reliving the classics the way only Jerry knows how. [scene cuts to Jerry with mic and the words 'Why did the chicken...' across the bottom of the screen.] Jerry Seinfeld: Why did the chicken cross the road? Hmmm? Anybody? To get to the other side! To get to the other side...what is up with that? I mean really. What was so important on the other side of the road that the chicken decided to cross? Perhaps, as some reports suggest Col. Sanders was in fact chasing him. I don't know. I wasn't there. Was it an extra crispy or original recipe chicken...once again I don't know. [scene cuts back to CD] Voice Over: Ha ha ha. Do you remember this classic? [scene cuts to Jerry with mic and the words '2 men walk into a bar...' across the bottom of the screen.] Jerry Seinfeld: So these 2 guys walk into a bar...the third one ducks. I mean c'mon people, who does that. Obviously they were all together otherwise there would be no way they would get to the bar simultaneously...which begs the question...Why didn't the third guy tell his buddies about the bar? I mean c'mon...who would be friends with a guy like that? C'mon people! And what about the bar? Was it just there standing suspended in mid-air? The whole thing is highly dubious... [scene cuts back to CD] Voice Over: Ahhh, there's just no escaping the master's observational expertise. Join Jerry as he visits with new friends and buries the hatchet with some old rivals. [scene cuts to Jerry and Eric with mics and the words 'Knock Knock' across the bottom of the screen.] Jerry Seinfeld: Knock knock. Eric Nederlander: Who's there? Jerry Seinfeld: Boo. Eric Nederlander: Boo Who? Jerry Seinfeld: Ahh, c'mon now. Don't cry. Just because I stole your wife doesn't mean you should cry. It's for the best. I mean she's happy, I'm happy, u...well you were pathetic and miserable to begin with. [Jerry laughs then turns around and gives Eric a hug. Eric stares ahead and his eye begins to twitch.] [scene cuts back to CD] Voice Over: Ha ha ha. Is there nothing that he can't make funnier! Order now and recieve a bonus track filled with hilarious out takes like this one. [scene cuts to Jerry with mic and the words 'Hilarious out takes' across the bottom of the screen.] Jerry Seinfeld: Look that's it. I'm not elaborating on this one. Why did the ghost go to the liquor store... cause he was out of booze...that's it I'm done. If you want elaboration get that Raymond guy he's pretty funny...[listens to voice from offstage]...busy with his sitcom? Well then get Jason Alexander or Michael Richards, I know they won't be busy. HA HA HA! [scene cuts back to CD] Voice Over: Don't delay. Order "Jerry Does the Classics." today! Rate or review this sketch. |
