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Lester Crabtree, Bloomingdales' Manager.....Hugh Jackman Bobbi Mohan-Culp.....Ana Gasteyer Marty Culp.....Will Ferrell Lester Crabtree: Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen my name is Lester Crabtree and I'm the manager at Bloomingdales. Well, believe it or not this is Christmas shopping season, so we have decided to have a little bit of entertainment for you Christmas shoppers and who better to entertain you than these two people from Alta Dena Middle School. So here they are, Marty and Bobbi Culp! (The shoppers applaud at Marty and Bobbi enter the stage.) Bobbi Mohan-Culp: Are we ready? Oh, OK. Hello, fellow shoppers I'm Bobbi Mohan-Culp. Marty Culp: And I'm Marty Culp and we're the music teachers at Alta Dena Middle School here to get you ready for the holidays. (Music starts.) Bobbi Mohan-Culp: As you may probably already know, it's that time of the year again as we buy all the Christmas goodies to all our friends and family. Marty Culp: A time for reminiscing with your loved ones. Bobbi Mohan-Culp: A time for the kids to think about little Saint Nick. Marty Culp: A time for a fabulous Christmas dinner. Bobbi Mohan-Culp: And last but certainly not least, a time for as we like to call it, some Christmas music. Marty Culp: So join us, as we serenade you with some holiday rock and roll. Ready? 1, 2, 3, 4, hit it! (Music starts.) Bobbi Mohan-Culp: (to the tune of Stevie Nicks and Tom Petty's "Stop Dragging My Heart Around") "Baby, you always come every Christmas morning You came to wish me a merry Christmas But when it's time to unwrap the presents, They weren't for me." Bobbi and Marty: (Singing) "Baby, you never think about me The only person you cared for was yourself Stop dragging my... Stop dragging my... Stop dragging my tree around." Marty Culp: (to the tune of Ray Parker, Jr.'s "Ghostbusters") "There's something strange in the neck of the woods Who are you gonna call..." Bobbi and Marty: "Snowbusters!" Marty Culp: (Singing) "And it's snowing hard, it might be a blizzard Who are you gonna call..." Bobbi and Marty: "Snowbusters!" Bobbi Mohan-Culp: (to the tune of the Bangles' "Manic Monday") "It's just another Christmas Tuesday I wish it was Sunday That's another story That I don't have to wait there. It's just another Christmas Tuesday." Marty Culp: (to the tune of the Backstreet Boys' "As Long As You Love Me") "And I know what you want and where you buy it when you need it as long there's a holiday And I know all the stores from Sears to Macy's to buy the gifts as long there's a holiday." Bobbi and Marty: (to the tune of the Ramones' "Blitzkrieg Pop") "They're coming to K'Mart They're going to Target They're shopping at Penney's Christmas Shop Heigh Ho, let's go shopping Heigh Ho, it's Christmas time We're off and ready to shop Heigh Ho, let's shop! Heigh Ho, let's shop! Heigh Ho, let's shop! Heigh Ho, let's shop!" Rate or review this sketch. |
