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Joni Perkins.....Ellen Degeneres Tommy Carter.....Jimmy Fallon Female Carolers.....Ana Gasteyer, Maya Rudolph Male Carolers.....Will Ferrell, Horatio Sanz Announcer: Christmas may only be ten days away, but it's still not too late to order K-Tel's latest Christmas album - a collection of your Christmas favorites, as sung by the "I Hate Christmas" Carolers. Just listen as they sing this old favorite! [ SUPER: "Sleigh Ride" ] Carolers: [ singing ] "Just hear those sleigh bells jingling, ring-ting-tingling, too. Shut up, it's lousy weather for a sleigh ride together, you fool. Outside the storm is brewing, inside i'm stewing, you knew. Get lost, it's lousy weather for a sleigh ride together, you fool!" Announcer: Yes, Christmas is the most unhappiest time of the year for the "I Hate Christmas" Carolers. But they don't mind singing your favorites, as long as you can accept just how truly upset they are. [ SUPER: "I'm In Hell (Silver Bells)" ] Carolers: [ singing ] "I'm in hell (Silver Bells), I'm in hell (Silver Bells) It's Christmastime, and I'm pissed off. Chug-a-lug (I'm in hell), drink that grog (I'm in hell) I'll wake up in time for New Year's." Announcer: The "I Hate Christmas" Carolers even dislike jolly old Saint Nick. Just take a listen to the female chorus on "Santa Claus, You're Going To Die". Female Carolers: [ singing ] "He'd better watch out, I'm packing my gun There's not a doubt, he's going to run. Santa Claus, you're going to die!" Announcer: And no member of the "I Hate Christmas" Carolers has it as bed as backing vocalist Joni Perkins, with her rendition of "Christmas Blows". Joni Perkins: [ singing ] "Oh, Christmastime is abysmal Better break out the Pepto-Bismol. I'm sick of all the mistletoe! Christmas blows, Christmas blows, Christmas blows!" Announcer: You won't want to miss their classic, "Death To The World". Carolers: [ singing ] "Death to the world, I hate good cheer Let earth prepare your graves. May all you folks drop dead toni-ight And get chewed by dogs and wolves And get chewed by dogs and wolves And get chew-ewed by dogs and wolves!" Announcer: The late John Lennon never expected lead vocalist Tommy Carter to butcher his Christmas classic quite like this. Tommy Carter: [ singing ] And so this is Christmas And what do I care? Another year over And a new one in my hair. And so I hate Christmas..!" Announcer: As an added bonus, the "I Hate Christmas" Carolers have also extended their holiday hatred to include Hanukkah. [ SUPER: "The Dreidel Song" ] Carolers: [ singing ] "Oh lame-o, lame-o, lame-o You call this a holiday? Oh come on, come on, come on Why should we care, anyway?" Announcer: Order the "I Hate Christmas" Carolers' album now, and you'll receive absolutely free, their version of "Carol of the Bells". Carolers: [ singing ] "Hark to the bells, hark to the bells We hear the bells, so many bells. Tired of the bells, can't stand the bells De-stroy the bells, turn those damn bells off!" Announcer: The "I Hate Christmas" Carolers. Dial 1-900-I-HATE-IT now, and order their unpleasant Christmas album today. Oh, and their favorite Christmas song of all time? [ SUPER: "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer ] Carolers: [ singing ] "Grandma got run over by a reindeer Walking home from our house Christmas Eve. You can say there's no such thing as Santa But as for me and Grandpa, we belie-e-e-eve.." Joni Perkins: "I hate Christmas!" Rate or review this sketch. |
