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.....Ellen Degeneres
Ellen Degeneres: Thank you! Hey, is it just me, or did I try to do this show two other times? Well, it's Christmas, so I was excited to be asked to host "Saturday Night Live". I love Christmas, so I was looking forward to doing a lot of Christmas-themed sketches. Unfortunately, the writers and the production staff had a different set of ideas. I'll tell you some of them. They wanted to cast me as a lesbian elf having an affair with Mrs. Claus while Santa's making his rounds. Yeah, I had to say no to that one. I mean, haven't the lesbian jokes been done to death? I have so much more going on that the writers could joke about. I'm a blonde, so they could do a series of blonde jokes. Uh.. I'm from the South - Louisiana, to be exact - so there could be any number of southern jokes they could write up for me. Let's see.. what else? I work with Cloris Leachman on my new sitcom at CBS, and who doesn't like Cloris Leachman jokes, right? I'm pretty flexible, but I put my foot down and said, "Absolutely no lesbian jokes!" Alright? Is that cool? So, anyway, the show's only ten minutes this week - sorry! But it's gonna be a great show. No Doubt is here, and we'll be right back! Rate or review this sketch. |
