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Lou Whittiker.....Will Ferrell Man.....Jeff Richards Security Agent 1.....Ellen Degeneres Security Agent 2.....Maya Rudolph Supervisor.....Seth Meyers (SCENE: An Airport Security terminal, a few extras walk through with no problems. Lou is waiting for his bag and is talking to Man, who is emersed in a newspaper) Lou: ..So the doctor said, "Your face rook Ed Zachry rike yo ass!" Hahahaha. Man: (Looks at Lou weirdly) Yeah whatever. Lou: I finally got the guts to fly on a plane, you know. That whole Terrorist thing you know. Man: (Walks away) (Security Agent 1 grabs Lou) Security Agent 1: Sir you have some items in your bag that may endanger some people on your flight. Lou: I don't understand, what could I possibly have? (Security Agent 2 walks in) Security Agent 2: (Holds up a Chicago White Sox Sweater) Sir what is this? Lou: That's a sweater, with the Chicago White Sox logo on it. Security Agent 1: Don't think we are stupid, Do you know what this sweater is made of? Lou: Cotton? Security Agent 2: Yes! And you know what? Someone could flush this sweater down the toilet and it could land in the engine and we could all die. Lou: But its just a sweater! Security Agent 1: That's not the worst of it. (Holds up some shaving cream and a razor) Lou: I use those to shave. So, you know, I won't have a beard. Security Agent 2: Hah, your Shal Qeeda mind games won't work on me boy! We know that you could incapacitate a pilot with that. (While all this is happening a Burly man carrying an AK-47 nonchalantly walks through the security checkpoint, followed by some people carrying granades) Lou: I want to see your supervisor! (The Supervisor enters) Supervisor: Let me see your ID, boy! (Lou hands him his ID) Supervisor: So Lou Whittiker, if that's your real name! Lou: It is, I was born in Scottsdale, Arizona. I've never been out of the country. Supervisor: That's what you want me to believe Lou, or should I say Oul Rekittihw. Lou: That's my name spelled backwards! Supervisor: Or is it your name spelled forwards, take him away. (Guards come and take him away) Lou: I know Gwen Stefani! I went on a date with her once! (The guards stop and start to hear a facsinating story, meanwhile a man in a turban walks by the checkpoint) Rate or review this sketch. |
