|
|
|
|
|
|
|
..... David Spade
Don Pardo: And now... Spade in America! David Spade: Thank you! Good to see ya! You might be wondering why I'm back at SNL. Before I tell you exactly why and get into my little segment, I'm gonna give you a little backstory. See, almost ten years ago, I joined this oddball thing called Saturday Night Live. They were good to me here. Made some friends, had some laughs. But a few years ago, a certain TV show debuted up the dial called "MadTV". And wouldn't ya know it, just a few weeks ago, they took a shot at Chris Kattan. Now I know Kattan isn't exactly slim pickings for ridicule... but he's a member of the family... and you insulted a member of the family. That's why I'm back here. And now... "The Hollywood Minute: The MadTV Edition". [A picture of Stephnie Weir comes up.] David Spade: Stephnie Weir. You look like the love child of Chyna and Mr Ed. People who base their entire acts on looking freaky don't last long. When you're spending your weekends with Pauly Shore and the big headed kid from Deliverance, remember that I tried to warn ya. [A picture of Alex Borstein comes up.] David Spade: Does anyone even know your real name? Miss Swan makes Total Bastard Airlines look like Benji. Take it from me... if you play a character that people want to punch, they will punch you. [A picture of Michael McDonald comes up.] David Spade: Mike McDonald... you've got one character that people find funny and another character that people are annoyed to death by. The rest of the time, you play the role of the anonymous perverted/preturbed parent. Got news for ya, buddy. We already got ONE Molly Shannon. We don't need twinsies! [A picture of Kathryn Fiore comes up.] David Spade: Don't know her. [A picture of Bobby Lee comes up.] David Spade: Looks familiar. [A picture of Frank Caliendo comes up.] David Spade: Not ringing a bell. [A picture of Mo Collins comes up.] David Spade: Okay, Mo Collins... I liked ya better the first time I saw ya... when your name was Jan Hooks. [A picture of Will Sasso comes up.] David Spade: And the man who fired the first shot. First off, you never stopped being the "funny fat guy". Second, I suspect great license using the word "funny". Will, buddy, I knew Chris Farley. Ya might say I was very close to him. You're no Chris Farley. Hell, you're not even Brian Doyle Murray! Listen, chunky, when they're making "Drunken Frat Guy Who Yells At Lorraine: The Movie", then and only then, you and your half ass "TV" show can take shots at Chris Kattan. David Spade: That's all! See ya later! [Fade out] Rate or review this sketch. |
