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| Store Owner.....Will Ferrell William's Mom.....Ana Gasteyer Steven.....Jeff Richards William.....Rachel Dratch [ open on interior, PC Warehouse ] Store Owner: Hi! Welcome to PC Warehouse. How can I help you? William's Mom: Hi, I'm looking to purchase a personal computer for my son. Store Owner: Well, what kind of software are you looking for? William's Mom: Hmm.. I'm not really sure what brands are out there. [ Steve, the Dell dork, suddenly appears on a TV monitor behind them ] Steven: Hello, Mrs. Lindsay! William! If you're looking for a top-notch computer to meet all your needs, you should check out a Dell! William's Mom: [ annoyed ] Oh. Hello, Steven. [ Steven walks over to everyone, dropping a hand-held Camcorder to the floor ] Steven: Yeah, the Dell is, like, the coolest computerever! Over 20 gigabytes of RAM, Pentium IV processor, and you caneven play Minesweeper! Totally awesome! Store Owner: Listen, you little snot-nosed punk! I've asked you repeatedly to stay out of my store and to quit fooling with my merchandise! You're creeping out the customers! William's Mom: He is such a nuisance, and he doesn't really know as much about computers as he lets on. William: Yeah.. he's such an idiot, he thinks a hard drive is something you get from a battered 9-iron. Steven: Does that mean you're getting William a Dell? William's Mom: I will buy him the most reliable PC on the market, whatever brand that might be. Steven: [ thumbs up to William ] Dude, you're getting a Dell! William: Dude, lay off! It's none of your damn business what kind of computer I'm getting! You're not coming over to download porn on it! Steven: Sweet! William: And quit rooting around our garbage at night looking for food! My dad's getting real pissed! Steven: Alright, dude, don't worry about all that. Trust me - buy a Dell! William's Mom: If you don't shut up, I'll buy a COMPAQ Presario just to piss you off! Steven: Mrs. Lindsay, don't take out your anger on young William here. The people at Dell have commissioned me to help advertise their wonderful product. William: Dude, you don't even know what "commission" means. Or "Wonderful". Steven: Look, all I know is that the Dell people said they'd give me five cents for every computer that I help sell. I'm going to use the money I earn to buy a fudge sundae. William's Mom: [ to Store Owner ] Is Endust fatal if taken orally? Store Owner: I don't know, but I'll hold him down if you want to find out. [ Steven smiles uncomfortably ] [ cut to Dell logo screen ] Announcer: Dell. Because even dorks need computers. Rate or review this sketch. |
