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Guy in a Suit: Ok Mr. Williams, we just have one more question, and then the job interview will finally be complete and you can get a rest from my shark style of questioning. (laughter) Mr. Williams: (laughing) Ok sir, fire when ready. Guy in a Suit: Well, we here at Joni Mitchell's Craft and Pottery Barn like to get a feel for the total person in a candidate we are considering to hire, so the last question I have is who, through out your life, would you consider your role model? Mr. Williams: That's a good question, um, I would have to say my role model would have to be my old English teacher, Mr. Williams. Guy in a Suit: He had the same name as you, that's interesting. Mr. Williams: Yeah, He probably taught me everything I needed to know about life and Old English. He was there for me, and probably the first adult that I really connected with, and he really treated me like an adult, if not an equal. I live most of my days trying to live like Mr. Williams would have liked me to live, and I still stay in contact with him, in fact, he acctually drove me to this interview. Guy in a Suit: Really, you made him sound so inspiring, is there anyway I can meet him. Mr. Williams: Sure, I mean if you really want to. Guy in a Suit: Yes, I think it would be a good way to end the interview, other than the fact that I've decided to give you the job, and if it's ok with you, we would like for you to start Monday. Mr. Williams: Oh, that is great, I'm glad to be a part of the team, hold on, and I'll go get Mr. Williams. (exits) (enters with drunk homeless looking black guy, holding an Old E Bottle) Mr. Williams: Here you go sir, this is my role model, Mr. Williams. Guy in a Suit: Oh uh, nice to meet you sir, (to white Mr. Williams) Um, can I talk to you over here for a second? Mr. Williams: What is it, boss? Guy in a Suit: I thought you said this guy was your role model, I thought you said he was your old English teacher. Mr. Williams: Yes, that's right he is. Guy in a Suit: No offense to him, but he looks more like a drunken bum, then an accredited teacher. Mr. Williams: Oh, I never said he was a real teacher, he was just the guy who taught me all about Old English, you know, the malt liquor. He also taught me about Cobra, Colt 45, and Schlitz. He has been training me since I was six, and he lived in the alley by my building. I would give him my allowance, and he would give me the third and fourth sip of the forty. Sure, my parents always wondered why I had weird lip rashes, and would stumble home at noon on a Saturday with newspaper print on my face, but my life would not be the same as it is today without those experiences. Guy in a Suit: But you said that guy drove you to the interview today, are you crazy? Mr. Williams: No, just really drunk, and he was a little more sober than me, so he drove. Guy in a Suit: In light of this news, I don't think... Black Mr. Williams: Hey, little jack. Mr. Williams: It's John. Black Mr. Williams: Whatever, hey let's go down to the liquor store, pick up a case of old E cans and cruise down to the park and find some legal high school chicks. Mr. Williams: Oh yeah, last one to the car gets sloppy seconds, see you Monday boss. Guy in a Suit: Wait, I...Oh crap. (sits down, goes into a drawer, and pulls out some Colt 45, takes a chug and kisses a picture of billy D Williams) Oh, sure, I would love to be Mrs. Billy D... [ fade ] Rate or review this sketch. |
