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March 9th, 2002
Host: Jon Stewart

  • The Poetry of Russell Crowe
    Sensitive Russell Crowe becomes enraged when network interrupts his poetry readings.
    - written by John Edward Kilduff

  • The Frog Prince
    Frog tells Princess he's a prince so he can cop a feel.
    - written by Mario Lanza

  • The Best of Laurie Metcalf
    One-episode featured player finally receives acclaim for her work on SNL.
    - written by Steve Worek

  • Ramis Home Security
    Security measures include attack dogs and fully-equipped weapons.
    - written by Patrick Lonergan

  • Paul Dole Returns, Jeff Hawthrone Joins
    Bully Paul Dole welcomes new player to the team.
    - written by Jack Wilson

  • The Daily Weekend Update
    Jon Stewart wants to do the news by himself this week.
    - written by Kelly Hohenberger

  • Divorce Court
    Judges take sides with defendents based on sex.
    - written by Josh Batten

  • SNY: The More You Know
    Saturday Night You is slowly taking over NBC.
    - written by Steve Worek

  • Dick Sore vs. Nick Burns
    Dick Sore tries to outcrap Nick Burns in insult contest.
    - written by Jean-Philippe Arcand

  • Hanks/Scolari
    Tom Hanks accidentally runs into former "Bosum Buddies" co-star Peter Scolari.
    - written by Patrick Lonergan

  • The Teacher
    Schoolteacher refuses to sound out the letter D in any word.
    - written by Jack Wilson

Jon Stewart - 03/09/02

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