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[Steve Worek is seen sitting on a stool.] Steve Worek: You know, the Internet's a really big place. You can look up the latest scores, find out celebrity gossip, or download pictures of Pamela Lee's ass when your parents aren't home. But most of all, you can use the information superhighway to vent your thoughts and jokes somewhere. Sure, you may not make it as a writer for, oh, say, NBC... [He is handed a wad of money] Thank you. But there is a special place that is just as good, or perhaps better than NBC... [An arm reaches from the side and tries to rip the money out of his hand] Hey!!!! Get...off...get off me! Ahem, anyway...a place where budding comedians gather, and exchange ideas and characters. Superstardom is closer than you may think...it's right in your own home, if you look hard enough. That place is called Saturday Night Y---- Patrick Lonergan: Oh, Iiiiii'm sorry. This piece is cut, Steve. Steve Worek: What?! Patrick Lonergan: Way too many submissions were sent in. It's the first time this happened....so we're going to have to cut this and substitute some shorter sketches instead. [The channel changes] Jamie Rogaisson: YES IT'S THE JAMIE ROGAISSON SHOW! TODAY, WE DISCUSS HOW TO TURN OFF CAPS LOCK... [The channel changes to something called MLNBC] Newsman: Welcome back to Mario Lanza News. Winona Ryder is on trial today... [The channel changes back] Patrick Lonergan: How dare you call it pure biological crap? Jean-Philippe Arcand: This IS crap, crap-head! This whole idea is crappy! [The channel changes] Announcer: And today on Will Roy's Penis Monologues Theatre, we talk to Shawn, five year old co-star of Barney the Dinosaur... [The channel changes] Loonette the clown: Oh, I'm soooo sorry, Molly. Well, how was I supposed to know that thread was holding your head on? [The channel changes] [A talk show where many people are seated in a circle. Steve Worek stands up, sobbing.] Steve Worek: [sniffffff] I'm Steve Worek....and I'm.....a videogameoholic. [The channel switches back to NBC] [Many SNY writers are having a scuffle in the background, while Steve Worek is back sitting on the stool, grinning at the camera.] Paul Buxton: How DARE you back up the Icy Hot Stuntaz!! Patrick Lonergan: "Harlem Shuffle" was a masterpiece!! I'm telling you!! b>Rachel Miller: I swear I heard them say sh(beep)t on ESPN! Kris Thompson: Whattyou mean there's nothing wrong with "MadTV"?! Steve Worek: [to camera] C'mon, you could use a self-esteem boost. Share your feelings with those that care. [The star flies across the screen with the banner, "THE MORE YOU WRITE, THE CLOSER YOU ARE TO GETTING A 'BEST OF' SPECIAL"] Rate or review this sketch. |
