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Cut to an empty basketball court in a gym. Voice-Over: Here in Anaheim, California, the NBA has been getting some controversy for it's newest team, the Anaheim Animals. Not because of it's close vicinity to the Los Angeles Lakers and Clippers but because the team consists of only one professional basketball player. We see a tall black basketball player practicing shooting Voice-Over: The rest of the team: small domestic pets. Shot of the bench where sits a big dog, a fluffy cat, a little bird in a cage, a rabbit, a goldfish in a bowl, and a chimpanzee. Cut to the coach, Rick Jackson, talking to an interviewer off camera. In the background we see the tall basketball player still shooting. SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: Rick Jackson (Coach) Coach Jackson: Well there has been some ill feelings around the league about us having animals playing on the team but you know, there's nothing in the rule book that says animals can't play. I mean at one time Blacks couldn't play but now look at it, nothing but Blacks. Blacks and Europeans. We see Coach Jackson on the floor trying to show a less than interested basset hound how to dribble. Coach Jackson V/O: We teach them the basics: defense, passing, not to widdle on the floor. But many of the animals, especially the dogs, already know quite a bit, especially how to dribble. Cut to the tall basketball player. SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: Latrell Williams (Only Human Player On Team) Latrell: Well before I was on this team, I was in Portland. Uh...then Dallas, San Antonio, Houston, all those Texas cities, Philadelphia, New Jersey, New York, Washington, Orlando, Miami, Golden State... Cut back to Coach Jackson. Interviewer (Off-Screen): So what is your record so far this season? Coach Jackson: 0-6. Interviewer (Off-Screen): And what was it last season? Coach Jackson: 4-78 We were able to sweep the Wizards. Cut back to Latrell. Latrell: ...Sacramento, Seattle, Indiana, Vancouver, Detroit and then the next year I was in Phoenix, Atlanta, Chicago...oh yeah, I forgot one from last year, Charlotte. Cut to basketball game being held in an arena with a full crowd. We see Latrell dunk on someone. The crowd cheers. On the court with Latrell is the big dog (Champion), the cat (Little Fluffy Poo), the rabbit (Carrots), and the goldfish in a bowl (Bubbles). Announcer (Off-Screen): Oh what a move by Latrell Williams, single-handedly keeping the Anaheim Animals in the game! We see Champion jumping upon a player. Announcer (Off-Screen): Good defense there by Champion, a dog from Kansas State Kennels. Latrell steals the ball away from an opponent. Announcer (Off-Screen): Oh and Williams has just stolen the ball from Persons! He passes it to Bubbles! The ball goes right pass the goldfish's bowl. Announcer (Off-Screen): But Bubbles can't hang on! It's a turnover and Coach Jackson wants a time out! We see Coach Jackson rise from the bench calling a time-out. Also on the bench is the basset hound, the chimp, and the bird. Just then, we see the cat on a player. Announcer (Off-Screen): And what's this? Little Fluffy Poo has just been hit with a technical foul! He's gonna have to come out of the game! Oh boy! A ref takes the cat off the player. At the bench, Coach Jackson is showing Champion a play. Coach Jackson: Okay. Here's what were gonna do. We can still win this one. Champion, I want you...(Champion licks him in the face) Stop that! Announcer (Off-Screen): Well with Little Fluffy Poo coming out of the game, they're gonna have to put in their backup center. We see a man walking a real lion out onto the court. Announcer (Off-Screen): The Anaheim Animals are only down two points. If they make a basket here, they could have a chance of winning this game. Back to the court, the opposing team throws in. Announcer (Off-Screen): Dickens throws in to Kirby and what's this? Using a puppet, we see the rabbit stealing the ball and dunking it in the hoop to the crowd's delight. Announcer (Off-Screen): Carrots the rabbit has just stolen the ball and dunks it in! The Anaheim Animals have won! We crowd raises from the stands. We hear various animal noises as well as the audience applause. Fade out. Rate or review this sketch. |
