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Cashier.....Chris Kattan George W. Bush.....Will Ferrell .....Cameron Diaz Adam Sandler.....Jimmy Fallon Calista Flockhart.....Rachel Dratch Cut to:(Sign outside a restaurant that says Celebrity Diner) Cut to:(Inside of diner with cashier and extras in the backround) (Adam Sandler enters) Adam Sandler: Um, yeah, can I get a Smiley Meal? Cashier: Sorry, we're fresh out. Adam Sandler: What do you mean "fresh out"??? Cashier: (nervous) Umm, I mean, we don't have any left Adam Sandler: Im not leaving until I get a smiley meal...NOW GIVE ME THE DAMN SMILEY MEAL!!!!!!!! Cashier: (frightened) yes, of course. Right away!(shuffles around and hands Adam a bag) Adam Sandler: (still yelling)THANK YOU!(exits) (Cameron Diaz enters) Cashier: Wow!Cameron Diaz! Im a huge fan! Cameron Diaz: Thanks, thats very sweet. Now, can I get a number 2 with a large chocolate shake? Cashier: (not paying attention) Hey Cameron...who am I??(giggling) (Cashier takes out some mayonaisse and pours it onto his hand, rubs it into his hair.His hair is sticking up like Cameron's in "There's something about Mary") Cameron Diaz: Yeah, REAL original. Can I just have my food? Cashier: Yeah, of course!(fumbling)Here you are!Have a great day! (Calista Flockhart enters-man with camera behind her) Cashier: (shocked)I never thought I'd see the day! Calista Flockhart: (Amazed also) Wow Ive never actually seen the inside of one of these places! Cashier: Can I take your order? Calista Flockhart: (still looking around in wonder) Cashier: Uh, are you going to order? Calista Flockhart: Yeah, sorry, I've just never... Cashier: (cutting her off)Eaten?? Calista Flockhart: (Hesitant)Ok, I'll have a "Big Beefy Burger" and a cola. (cashier rings it up and hands her her food) (Calista turns to guy with camera behind her.) Calista Flockhart: Ok, let's get a shot of me "happily" eating this. (Calista hesitantly takes a small bite of the burger while the guy takes a photo) Calista Flockhart: (exiting) Ughh I'm gonna have to do some many friggin' crunches to burn off that!! (George W. enters) Cashier: Wow, Mr.President. We've had out share of celebrities in and out this place, but wow, the president himself, what can I get you?? George W. Bush: I'll have a "Texas Toaster" and a large coca cola. Cashier: Would you like our complimentary bag of pretzels? George W. Bush: Better just make it an apple pie. (Bush and Cashier chuckle) Rate or review this sketch. |
