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Ozzy Osbourne.....Jimmy Fallon .....The Rock Sharon Osnbourne.....Amy Poehler Kelly Osbourne.....Rachel Dratch Jack Osbourne.....Horatio Sanz (The Osbourne's theme) Voiceover: Next time on the Osbournes... (Ozzy and The Rock are sitting on the couch in intense conversation) (Throughought the sketch there are bleeps when someone says f***) The Rock: You see Ozzy, you sometimes come across as angry. You need to control that. See, what I do, is I leave the anger behind when I am wrestling, and I am The Rock, but when I get home, Im just the regular ole Duane who likes daisies, kittens, and writing poetry. Dont take your anger out on Sharon and the kids...leave it behind in your performance. Ozzy: (uncomprehendable Ozzy mumblings) ya whateva man (more mumblings) (Dog sitting on the couch pees all over) Ozzy: You f***ing animal!!!!God damn you!!!!!You pissed on my f***ing couch!!!!!!!!!!!!!(mumblings) The Rock: Ozzy, control it. (Sharon Enters) Sharon: Ozzy remember you have a show in Dallas next week. Oh sorry boys am I interrupting? Oh my Ozzy you look handsome! Ozzy: Oh shut the f*** up woman. (Sharon exits) (Kelly and Jack stumble in, bickering) Kelly: SHUTUP JACK! (They are slapping each other) Jack: (takes a hit in the face)YOU BITCH! (Kelly falls) Kelly: Oh my GOD i can't stop falling! Ozzy: Can't you two see Im trying to have a f***ing conversation with the f***ing Rock???(mumblings) Jack: Hey dad, I'm going out tonight. Ozzy: Whateva man(mumblings) just don't get high or drunk or yeah(mumblings) (Jack and Kelly still name calling and bickering exit) (The Rock turns to Ozzy) The Rock: You see, those situations would have been handled better if you would just control your anger. And for God's sake ANNUNCIATE!!! Ozzy: Yeah man but Sharon the kids dog piss on the f***ing couch i have a tour dont get drunk or high or stop fighing shut the f*** up(keeps on like this for longer) The Rock: Well, when you put it that way...I completely understand! (Ozzy and The Rock give each other a big bear hug) da end Rate or review this sketch. |
