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Lecturer...Tina Fey
(Open on classroom. Lecturer walks onto stage and stands at podium) Lecturer: Students, students! Now, it seems to me, that lately, there isn't any respect left in this world. It's a disgrace. Kids sassing off, husbands and wives being disobediant to each other! I tell you... (Suddenly, the lecturer is interupted by the phone) Lecturer: (picks up phone) Hello. (pause) No, Mr. Fielding, you're not interrupting anything. (mumbling) Only my lecture. No, no, I didn't say anything. Of course, I think you're interesting. (makes "talking hand" signals) Well, of course I hold you with the most sincere respect. (moves to the chalkboard, in where she has a picture of a gorilla, with the caption "Mr. Fielding.") Yes, I think your wife is a lovely woman. (draws lipstick on the gorilla) And your son, he's darling. (acts infantile) Well, of course, I'd love to come to your house for dinner. (pretends to choke) After all, maybe we can discuss a raise in my salary. Well yes, I think $500 a week is the most perfect salary. (moves to her lunchbag, then pulls out her lunch, a single grape) After all, all this money is going to build my dream home. (pulls out a block of wood. Thank you, Mr. Fielding! (Lecturer hangs up phone and then heads back to podium) Lecturer: Well, does anybody know how we can learn to gather respect for others? (Fade Out) Rate or review this sketch. |
