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Host Mark MacPherson...Will Ferrell Contestant Trisha Phelps...Wynona Ryder Contestant Barry Wright... Jeff Richards Contestant Jamal Hansen... Tracy Morgan ...Al Roker ...Matt Lauer ...Moby (MUSIC: The Theme from "Tic Tac Dough") Announcer: It's time for the game where there's always somthing in common... (SUPER: "What's the Difference?") Audience: "What's the Difference?" Announcer: ...And here's the star of our show, Mark MacPherson! Host: Thank you, Don Pardo! Welcome to "What's the difference". The game where two things have an unexplainable link towards each other, and it is then up to our contestants to figure out what that similarity is. Now, let's meet our contestants. (HOST WALKS OVER TO PODIUMS.) Contestant number one is a student at UCLA, Say hello to Trisha Phelps! (APPLAUSE) Trisha: Hi, Mark! Host: Says here, that you attempted to build the world's largest pizza, when something went horribly wrong... Trisha: Yeah, apparently, these 2 slutty chearleaders thought it would be fun to wrestle in it... Too bad the pizza was cooking while they were doing that. Host: Ouch, what happened to them afterwards? Trisha: They suffered 2nd degree burns, and can never cheer again. I guess this goes to show how smart a pair of blondes can be. Host: This explains much. OK, let's move on to our next contestant, Barry Wright! An archetect from Chicago, Illinois. (APPLAUSE) Barry: Hi, Mark! Host: It says here, that you have recently built a home that isn't usually the kind of home you build, care to explain? Barry: Well, the truth is, that I really didn't want to build this man's house, but since he was kind enough to, ur, uh...Force me at Gunpoint, I built it anyway. Host: Just out of curiosity, what kind of house was it... (CONTESTANT #3 INTERJECTS) CONTESTANT #3: It was MY House! I wanted a place for my homies to hang out & shoot up! Barry: Yes, it was his house.(GETTING NERVOUS) Why don't you talk to him about it, Please! Host: Which leads us to contestant #3, Jamal Hansen from Brooklyn, New York. (APPLAUSE) Jamal: Yo, whasup cracker! Host: Nothing, whassup with you? Ha, ha, ha! (JAMAL GIVES HOST A VIOLENT STARE) Host: OK, let's get to the game! Here are today's "what's the difference" categories, they are... (BELL RING) "The Goodyear Blimp", (BELL) "McDonalds", (BELL) "President Bush", (BELL) "The Montreal Expos", (BELL) "The Osbornes" and (BELL) "Al Roker". Trisha, you won the coin toss before the show, so you pick first. Trisha: I'll take McDonnalds for $100 Host: What's the difference between McDonnalds and Porn Stars? (JAMAL's BUZZER) Host: Jamal? Jamal: Porn stars have bigger buns. Host: That's correct! And the Board is yours. Jamal: Yo, I'll take that sucka' "President Bush" for $200 Host: What's the difference between President Bush and a Bullfrog? (TRISHA's BUZZER) Host: Trisha? Trisha: The Frog does more than him, but only slightly. Host: Correct! You're in control. Trisha: Give me "The Goodyear Blimp" for $100. Host: What's the difference between the goodyear blimp and Marlon Bando? (BARRY's BUZZER) Host: Barry? Barry: About 15 Pounds. (BUZZER) Host: Nope. (JAMAL's BUZZER) Host: Jamal? Jamal: About 20 Kilos? (BUZZER) Host: Uh, we'll have to check with the judges later for that one. Trisha, this one is yours! Trisha: There is no difference! Host: That's Right! (FOGHORN BLOWS) Host: Uh-oh, that sound means it's the part of the show where you figure out the difference between 2 of our categories, this question is worth $1000, here it is... what's the difference between The Goodyear Blimp, and The Montreal Expos? (JAMAL's BUZZER) Host: Jamal? Jamal: They both high. (BUZZER) Host: No, I'm sorry Jamal: Damn! I could have used that money to score with my honey. Hey that rhymes, That's Hilarious! Ha, ha. (BARRY's BUZZER) Host: Barry? Barry: They're both small in size (BUZZER) Host: Nope. Jamal: Yo, fool! what kind of crappy-ass answer was that? Barry: I don't know, just don't do anything to me. (GETTING SCARED) just leave me alone! Host: OK, Trisha, it's all yours. Trisha: The Goodyear blimp makes it to the world series! (SUSTAINED DINGS) Host: That is Correct for $1000! And you're on a roll, keep going. Trisha: Al Roker for $300 (ODD BEEPING NOISE) Host: And that sound means that you are about to get your question from somebody famous, here's the question. (CUT TO VIDEO OF MATT LAUER IN "TODAY SHOW" STUDIO) Matt Lauer: Hi, I'm Matt Lauer. What's the difference between my coleague Al Roker and This bottle of Budweiser? You have three choices for this one, is it (ALL SUPER) "A: Al Last's longer than the beer", "B: Al doesn't stand a chance against the beer", or "C: Al can make the beer it's bee-och"? (RETURN TO GAME) (JAMAL's BUZZER) Host: Jamal? Jamal: Yo, I've seen Al Roker take down a couple of brews in Detroit! The answer is "C". Host: Let's take a look (CUT BACK TO VIDEO) Matt Lauer: The correct answer is "C: Al can make the beer his bee-och". Permit Al to demonstrate, Al can you come over here? (AL ROKER ENTERS) Matt Lauer: Al, show people what you do with beer... (AL CHUGS DOWN THE BEER, AND SLAMS THE BOTTLE DOWN TO THE GROUND) Matt Lauer: Good boy, Al! Here's a $20. (SLIPS AL A $20 BILL) (BACK TO GAME) Host: OK, Matt Lauer and Al Roker everybody! (APPLAUSE) Host: OK, we have just enough time for one more question, Jamal you got the last one right, so it's your move. Jamal: Yo, I'll take that "freak dog" Ozzy Osborne for $300 Host: What's the difference between Ozzy and The Catholic church? (BARRY'S BUZZER) Host: Barry? Barry: Ozzy is cleaner than them. Host: That's Correct! You're on the board at last, but we've run out of time. Barry, you leave us with $300. (APPLAUSE) Jamal leaves us with $400... Jamal: Alright, now you and I can score some more dope! (GRABS BARRY) Barry: (NERVOUS) No, I don't think so. (JAMAL FILPS OPEN RAZORBLADE) Jamal: How, 'bout now? Barry: (GULP) OK. Host: ...But our big winner today with $1300 is Trisha! Trisha: Oh, my god! Host: Trisha, it's now time to play with our celebrity contestant for a chance to double what you've won so far, are you ready? Trisha: Bring it on! Host: All right then, today's celebrity player has just celebrated the success of selling 10 Million copies of his hit album "Play". Now he hopes to have bigger success with his new album "18". Ladies and Gentlemen, give it up for MOBY! (MUSIC: "WE ARE ALL MADE OF STARS") (CURTAIN RISES TO REVEAL MOBY, W/WILD APPLAUSE FROM THE AUDIENCE.) Host: Allright, here's how we play the game, match three differences in a row with MOBY, without screwing up, and you win. Ready? Trisha: Yes! Host: Let's begin. What's the difference between MOBY and... Moby: A Corvette! Trisha: Uh, let me think... MOBY's much faster! Host: That's one! Next, what's the difference between MOBY and... Moby: Rugburn! Trisha: Ooh, that's a tough one... MOBY feels better to listen to! Host: That's two, one more for the win! What's the difference between MOBY and... Moby: "Dr. Evil!" Trisha: You've got to be kidding? One's good and the other one is evil, Right? (BUZZER) Host: Oh, I'm so sorry, we were looking for something a little more specific what was the difference MOBY? Moby: The difference between me and "Dr Evil", is that i've got a litte more hair than him and Mr. Bigglesworth combined. (AUDIENCE "OH's") Host: Don't worry about that Trisha, you still leave us with $1300, and our thanks. And thank you for tuning in to us, we'll see you next time on... (SUPER: "What's the difference?") Audience: What's the Difference? Host: Goodnight everybody! (FADE OUT) Rate or review this sketch. |
