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EXT. OPEN AS DARRELL HAMMOND EXITS A HOTEL. A GUST OF WIND BLOWS, HIS HAIRPIECE GOES FLYING OFF HIS HEAD. ANNCR: Has this ever happened to you... INT. CUT TO CHRIS PARNELL AS HE'S EATING IN FANCY RESTAURANT WITH HIS DATE (AMY POEHLER). HE SEES AN ACQUAINTANCE AND SHAKE HANDS AS THEY EXCHANGE BRIEF PLEASANTRIES. AS THE "ACQUAINTANCE" LEAVES, GIVES CHRIS A PLEASANT PAT ON THE BACK. HIS HAIRPIECE FALLS OFF HIS HEAD AND FALLS IN HIS SOUP. ANNCR: ...or this... EXT. DEAN EDWARDS, WEARING LARGE AFRO-WIG, IS TAKING A PLEASANT STROLL THROUGH THE PARK WHEN A LARGE BIRD SWOOPS DOWN AND TAKES OFF, LEAVING WITH THE HAIRPIECE IN ITS CLAWS, LEAVING DEAN COMPLETELY BALD. ANNCR ...or even this... CUT TO COUNTERTOP WHERE STANDS ANOTHER MALE CHARACTER. IN FRONT OF HIM IS A HUGE VISE. HE IS A SCHLOCKY USED CAR SALEMAN TYPE. ANNCR Pretty embarrassing isn't it? HE PICKS UP THE HUGE VISE. ANNCR Well, my friends your hairpiece problems are over. With new "Hair Club For Men". Just look at how easy it is to avoid humiliating moments. CUT TO CLOSE-UP OF VISE. MAN'S HAND WAVES OVER IT THE WAY VANNA WHITE WOULD BRUSH HER HAND OVER A GRAND PRIZE. CUT BACK TO SPOKESMAN TO DEMONSTRATE DEVICE. ANNCR This easy-to-use device can guarantee your hairpiece will stay in place. Just use the handy vise gauge to measure the size of your head with easy to use head measure monitor by slipping on the Hair Club for Men, and you're ready to take on anything without fear of disgrace and total degradation. WE NOW HAVE SEEN THAT SPOKESMAN HAS MEASURED HIS HEAD, CHIN TO TOP OF SKULL, AND SLIPS THE LARGE VISE ONTO HIS OWN. ANNCR ...just place the top of the device on your head and slide the bottom over chin. Then using the v-screw, tighten or loosen to fit your own personal, unique hairpiece holder. CUT TO TRI-SPLIT SCREEN, WHERE WE SEE ALL THREE MEN IN THEIR SAME SETTINGS, EACH NOW WEARING THEIR NEW "HAIR CLUB FOR MEN", EACH SMILING BROADLY AND GIVING THE CAMERA A CHEESY, BIG THUMBS UP SIGN. SPOKESMAN ZOOMS OUT TO FORM A MORTISE IN THE CENTER OF THE THREE MEN. EVEN THE SPOKESPERSON IS WEARING ONE AS WELL. ANNCR VO: Call now at 1-800-5555. SUPER PHONE NUMBER AND CREATED LOGO FOR THE PRODUCT. PLUS BEAUTY SHOT OF PRODUCT SITTING NEXT TO A HAIRPIECE ANNCR Go ahead. (gives chuckling laugh at his own pitiful pun) ANNCR And become one of the almost dozens of satisfied customers. who keep their hairpiece where it belongs... We've got operators right "hair" (quick chuckle again) ..and they are ready to take your order right now. Rate or review this sketch. |
