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[Two men are seated on seats in a fifties style diner set. The Dick Clark type is always on and always smiling. Carl, 50's Doo Wop style performer, is pleasant but seems mildly uncomfortable.] Dick: Hello and welcome to your past! The fifties were a time of cool cars, sock hops and great music. Carl: The music sure was great, Dick. Dick: That's right and now these incredible songs have been compiled in a wonderful collection. All original recordings! Carl: It's an amazing twenty-four CD set with some of the greatest and most abused performers in American history. Dick: That's right Carl. Being a famous Doo Wop singer yourself, I'm sure you can relate. [Carl scowls at Dick.] Dick: But this isn't about you Carl, or who screwed over who. It's about the music, the memories, and an unbelievable television offer. But don't take my word for it. Let's ask Cindy Greenberg of Skokie, Illinois. Cindy, do you remember 1954? [Cindy smiling seated in the living room of her home.] Cindy: Yes I do. In 1954 I was living in a small town. In fact we were the only Jewish family in that small town. "In the Still of the Night" was playing on the radio, the night some neighbors threw a cinder block through the front window. [She continues to smile brightly, her smile quickly changing into a look of confusion, and then into a deep frown.] Dick: Hey that's great Cindy! You know Carl this music really brings back those great memories of youth. [Carl stares blankly at Dick who is still blissfully unaware.] Dick: Like this great song by the Shirelles. Do you remember this song, Carl? Carl: [annoyed] As a matter of fact I do. That song was playing while a group of policemen kicked my ass for talking to a white girl. Dick: [patronizing smile] Yes, Carl we all have memories. [Dick turns back to the camera.] Dick: These songs really capture the essence of those memories and of that glorious era called the 50's. Carl: It wasn't so glorious. Dick: And if you order now we will include this special CD entitled "You Can Sing, You Just Can't Vote". A collection of 15 Doo Wop classics. All original recordings. Absolutely free! [Carl becoming angry.] Carl: That's not cool, Dick. Dick: And it's yours to keep even if you decide not to keep this fabulous 50's collection. [Turning to Carl.] But why would anyone return such a great collection? Carl: [ with quiet anger] Because the 50's were pretty damn painful for some of us. Dick: But not all of us. [Dick winks to camera.] [Carl jumps up and rips off his microphone.] Carl: I am just about to kick your ass, Dick! Dick: So order now. [Two PA's run on-stage and grab Carl, who is now standing in front of Dick in a threatening manner.] Carl: Oh the 50's were so great...the country was so innocent... [PA's begin to hustle Carl offstage.] Carl: Not in my neighborhood. Dick: But supplies are limited...so if you grew up in the 50's... [Carl from offstage.] Carl: Not for me honky bitch! Dick: And you are a white Protestant hetreosexual male, order now to relive those precious memories of your youth. [Dick smiling.] [End] Rate or review this sketch. |
