|
|
|
|
|
|
|
.....Winona Ryder .....Will Ferrell .....Lorne Michaels Winona Ryder: Thank you very much! It is such a thrill to be hosting the 27th season finale for "Saturday Night Live". I couldn't be happier to break away and be here this evening! [ suddenly, Will Ferrell appears on stage ] Will Ferrell: And we're all happy you could be here as well, Winona! And, speaking of season finales, in case you haven't heard, tonight is my last night as a cast member on this show! [ audience applauds wildly ] Will Ferrell: Thank you! It's been seven great years, and I couldn't have done it without all of you. That includes.. [ points randomly towards audience ] ..you, and you, and you.. Mom, over there in the back row.. my loving wife, Viveca.. and- Winona Ryder: [ annoyed ] Will! What do you think you're doing?! Will Ferrell: I'm just expressing my thanks before the show gets started. Winona Ryder: The show has started! I'm trying to do my monologue, but you're up here stealing my spotlight! Will Ferrell: Oh. That's funny.. you didn't seem to have a problem with stealing when you took those clothes from Saks Fifth Avenue last December. Winona Ryder: [ put off by Will's comment ] That's different. The blouse had monetary value; doing this monologue is like a spiritual experience for me. Will Ferrell: Spiritual, huh? You didn't look too spiritual in that movie where you were casting a spell on your boyfriend, sacrificing animals and dancing naked. Winona Ryder: [ mouth agape at Will's crassness ] That was "The Crucible", it happens to be a classic stage play. [ looking around ] Can somebody please get rid of this guy! Where's Lorne Michaels? [ Lorne Michaels appears on stage to wild applause ] Lorne Michaels: Thank God you called me, I haven't had my face on camera since Cami Diaz hosted. What's wrong, Winona? Winona Ryder: It's Will. He's distracting the audience from my monologue. I was going to do a song - just like we rehearsed. Will Ferrell: Lorne, I was just reminding the audience that tonight's my last night. Lorne Michaels: They know it's your last night, Will. Contrary to popular belief, our viewing audience does watch Letterman. Will Ferrell: [ excited ] Can I just let them know that they're in for a lot of great surprises tonight? Lorne Michaels: I want you off of Home Base, and getting changed for your first sketch. Otherwise, you won't be asked back to host next season. Will Ferrell: Yikes! I hear you. Good luck with the show, Winona. [ exits stage, making "Call me" gesture to the audience ] Winona Ryder: Thank you, Lorne. [ wraps arms around Lorne and hugs him ] Lorne Michaels: Any time, Winona. [ starts to exit stage, then turns back to Winona ] Oh, Winona? Winona Ryder: Yes, Lorne? Lorne Michaels: [ extends hand, making "Gimme" motion ] Can I have my, uh, duck pin back, please? Winona Ryder: [ nervous ] Um.. what are you talking about? I don't have your, uh.. Lorne Michaels: Now, Winona. Otherwise, I'll lock you in a sensory-deprivation tank with Steven Seagal and Martin Lawrence. Winona Ryder: [ shakes head ] Oh, alright! [ reaches into pocket to retrieve Lorne's duck pin ] Here. Lorne Michaels: [ takes pin ] Thank you. Have a good show. [ exits stage ] [ Winona holds up her hands and sticks her tongue out at Lorne ] Lorne Michaels: I saw that. Steven Seagal, Winona. Martin Lawrence. Winona Ryder: Okay, okay.. [ to audience ] We have a great show tonight, Moby is here. So stick around, and we'll be right back. [ Winona stiffens her body and slowly slinks off stage in a suspicious manner, as screen fades to black and dissolves into commercial parody ] Rate or review this sketch. |
