|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Spokesman/Father.....Chris Parnell Daughter.....Winona Ryder Daughter’s Boyfriend.....Jimmy Fallon Spokesman/Father: As a father of a teenage girl, I am constantly worrying about where she is, who she’s hanging out with, and…If she’s staying abstinent. But with new Paternal Panties, you don’t have to worry, because part of you is always with them! (Holds up paternal panties which are a pair of panties and a bra set) (cut to: man’s daughter and boyfriend are making out on a bed, her shirt is off and he is about to unhook her bra) (back to spokesman) Spokesman/Father: In any ordinary situation, my daughter’s rapscallion of a boyfriend would have that bra off in a second! But not with paternal panties! (same shot of the man’s daughter and boyfriend on the bed, boyfriend trying to unhook her bra) Voice coming from the bra: (her father’s voice trying to sound feminine) I think we’re moving too fast, let’s just talk. Boyfriend: (stops kissing her) Okay, what do you want to talk about? Daughter: (annoyed) That wasn’t me! C’mon keep going! (starts to kiss him again) Boyfriend: I don’t feel comfortable doing this with you while your father’s voice is coming from your bra!! (camera back to spokesman) Spokesman/Father: That’s right! You see, when the bra is touched, it activates a censor which then triggers the voice box. You can record your own messages…and even send your daughter and her partner in naughtiness a religious message…That’ll get ‘em! (same situation as before, boyfriend is trying to unhook bra) Bra: The body is a temple son! Boyfriend: What the…? Daughter: Just forget it (keeps kissing him) Bra: What would Jesus do? Boyfriend: (tries to ignore it this time) Bra: A reading from the Gospel of Luke… And Jesus said to His disciples, take this all of you and eat….. Boyfriend: Oh my God! This is so wrong! (Gets up and puts his shirt back on) (back to spokesman/father) Spokesman: And if that doesn’t work, you can just get downright mean, and make fun of her boyfriend’s penis size! (daughter and boyfriend again making out on the bed he is in boxer shorts) Bra: Is that it? Aww…it’s kinda cute, in a small sort of way… Boyfriend: Hey!!!!!! Daughter: Wait, no…I don’t think that! Your normal sized! (back to spokesman) Spokesman: So you see, Paternal Panties are practically FLAWLESS! Unless of course, you take them off, but that’s highly unlikely. Don’t you trust your daughters?? (daughter and boyfriend underneath covers, the bra and panties are hanging on the bedpost above her dress shoes.) Rate or review this sketch. |
