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OPEN ON STEREOTYPICAL SUBURBANITE KITCHEN SET. THE TABLE IS SET FOR DINNER. WILL FERRELL AND CHERI OTERI ARE SITTING TOGETHER AT THE KITCHEN TABLE WHEN WILL DELIVERS HIS FIRST LINE. WILL: We thought we could never apply for, much less qualify for life insurance at out age. CHERI: So I called Insure-O-Globe and we found how easy it is to get the term life insurance we need, even at our age. THERE IS A LONG PAUSE AS WILL LOOKS AT SHERI WITH A BLINKING STARE, BORDERING ON DISGUST. HE SPEAKS WITH A CALM BUT OBVIOUSLY DISGUSTED TONE. WILL: Oh...so it was all YOUR idea. GRADUALLY THEIR TONE BECOMES MORE AND MORE HOT TEMPERED, WILL MORE THAN CHERI AS SHE TRIES TO "HOLD" THE TESTIMONIAL COMMERCIAL TOGETHER UNTIL LATER IN THE SKIT. CHERI: Well, honey I DID make the call...I found out that for... WILL: OH, so I had NOTHING to with it to do with it whatsoever, huh. Is THAT what you're saying? CHERI: Well, I DID found out for only $6.95 mon... WILL INTERRUPTS, LEANING THE CAMERA, EVEN TO TJHE POINT OF TRYING AND COVER CHERI. HE LOOKS BACK AT CHERI TO "...OUT" THEN BACK TO CAMERA. WILL: YOU FOUND OUT! Hey, I'm the one who found out about the $6.95 a month thing! That was me, damnit! CHERI PUSHES HIM BACK DOWN IN HIS SEAT, TEMPERS ARE ON THE BRINK OF FLARING BY NOW. CHERI: YOU weren't even on the phone, you sniveling jerk! WILL: Oh I see...it's always YOU, always YOU! YOU! YOU! Well, you know what, Miss Insurance Sorceress, I was on THE EXTENSION UPSTAIRS THANK YOU! What am I? You always treat me like a doormat! WILL/CHERI IN UNISON, FLAT OUT SPARRING, EACH VYING FOR MORE ATTENTION THAN THE OTHER. PUSHING AND SHOVING EACH OTHER TO CAMERA. PROMINENT SUPERS (CG's) COME UP RESPECTIVELY AS THEY "SPAR". WILL/CHERI: It's only $6.95 a month and you can never be cancelled and there's no physical exam and you can never be denied!! THERE IS A PREGNANT PAUSE AS EACH LOOK AT EACH OTHER, BREATHING HEAVILY FROM THE "BRAWL". WILL STANDS UP, KICKS HIS CHAIR BACK, LOOKS DOWN ON CHERI WITH CONTEMPT. HIS READ IS LOW, BREATHY, YET SUBTLY DEFIANT. WILL: You wanna piece of me? Huh? CHERI: I was waitin' for you to ask, BUCKO!!! EACH PICK UP A KNIFE FROM THE KICHEN TABLE SETTING AND THEY BEGIN TO THEIR "KNIFE" FIGHT, MOVING AROUND, JABBING AT OTHER, ETC. AS AN OFF CAMERA SPOKESMAN TELLS US: ANNOUNCER: CALL 1-800-555-4321 for Insure-O-Globe Insurance for low priced term life insurance you can live with. Call now. You may need it sooner than you think. Rate or review this sketch. |
