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.....Natalie Portman Announcer.....Darrell Hammond Security Guard.....Tracey Morgan Geek #1.....Jimmy Fallon Geek #2.....Horatio Sanz EXT. A CONVENTION CENTER --DAY A sign out front reads: "Star Wars Celebration II" CUT TO: INT. A CROWDED EXHIBIT HALL Many adults, mainly grown men dressed as various "Star Wars" characters, pack the room and look towards a platform with a podium on it. Suddenly, the ANNOUNCER walks onto the platform, dressed as Yoda, and a hush falls over the room. Voice in the crowd: "We want Padme!" The roucous crowd agrees. Announcer: "Okay, okay, don't get your lightsabers in a bundle. Natalie will be out in a few moments. Please, make her feel welcome and no bantha poodo like at the last Celebration. With that note, I am proud to introduce Ms. Natalie Portman!" CUT TO: NATALIE PORTMAN and the SECURITY GUARD walk-out to roaring applause and cat calls from the crowd. Crowd: "Padme! Padme! Padme!" The SECURITY GUARD motions to the crowd to settle down, and after a few seconds they do. NATALIE PORTMAN flashes a charming smile. Natalie Portman: "Hello everyone. I would like to thank everyone for coming today. I hope everyone enjoyed Episode II." There is an odd pause as both parties await the other to start talking. Geek #1: (shouting) "Let's see 'em!" Crowd: "Yeah!" NATALIE gets a confused look on her face. Natalie Portman: "Excuse me?" Security Guard: "I'll take care of this Ms. Portman....What they mean are your... pokies." The CROWD roars. NATALIE still looks confused. Then the SECURITY GUARD whispers in her ear; NATALIE quickly gets an embarassed look on your face. Geek #2: "Yeah, you know it Portman! Tight-white jumpsuit in the movie. Did they forget Carrie Fisher's anti-jiggle tape or something?" Geek #1: "Nah, George Lucas is an old pervert like Walt Disney was..." After a few seconds of confusion, the CROWD agrees and laughs. Natalie Portman: "Um...wow, I didn't expect to be met with this type of crowd. I mean..." Security Guard: "You're right ma'am, its all my fault.....now let's see them!" The CROWD lets up another roar. Natalie Portman: (raising her voice) "Listen up. If you can get off on some mundane detail like that, then I fear for your social life. I did not come here...." Geek #2: "...'to discuss this in a commitee!" The CROWD laughs and slaps high-fives with each other. Geek #1: "But anyways...she admitted it! Hey guys, she admitted it!" the CROWD starts cheering and letting out cat-calls. The SECURITY GUARD is chanting too. NATALIE shoots him a glare and he abruptly stops. Natalie Portman: "This is ridiculous, I'm out of here. Management will here about this." Geek #2: "What's your next movie? I wanna come down to the set and crank up the AC" NATALIE storms off the stage. Security Guard: "You guys were great!" NATALIE pulls him off the stage and the CROWD quiets down. Geek #1: "Eh, we tried. Let's get in line for Episode III." The CROWD starts for the doors. FADE OUT: Rate or review this sketch. |
