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INT. MEXICAN RESTAURANT - EVENING JERRY and EDNA, a couple in their early fifties, walk into the El Torito-like restaurant where they are greeted by ROD, the Host. ROD Hello and welcome to El Sobrante Mexican Restaurant. How many? JERRY Just two. ROD Just two. Come right this way. Rod walks them over to a little table in a crowded dining room. Jerry and Edna sit down and Rod puts some tortilla chips and salsa on the table. JERRY Thank you. ROD And now IÕd like introduce to you your waiter for the evening. Ladies and gentlemen, live from the El Sobrante Mexican Restaurant, Bob Gonzales! The AUDIENCE (the other customers) applaud as BOB comes out in normal waiter attire. Despite that, he acts very much like a game show host. Game show music is also heard throughout. BOB Thank you for that wonderful welcome. And who do we have eating with us this evening? ROD Well Bob, this is Jerry and Edna Dormouse. EDNA ThatÕs funny. We never gave him our names. BOB Dormouse, huh? Lovely. Well, letÕs see what Jerry and Edna Dormouse have to choose from tonight! Over to the side are THREE COOKS, all holding different dishes. ROD (VO) A three green bean burrito meal with rice and a tortilla salad; Tacos De La Grande, four giant supreme tacos served with honey cornbread and fried maggots; and last but not least, our chicken enchilada combo meal with your choice of over five different side dishes. Enchilada also comes in beef. BOB Well Jerry, whatÕs it gonna be? As Jerry thinks, the audience tries to persuade him. AUDIENCE The enchilada! The enchilada! Go for the maggots! You gotta try the cornbread! JERRY I think IÕll have the chicken enchilada combo meal. Some of the audience BOOS him. BOB Is that your final answer? JERRY Yes. BOB And what about you, Edna? Give me your order. The audience tries to persuade her decision. AUDIENCE Tacos! Tacos! Eat some tacos! EDNA (really nervous) Um...um...IÕll have the...um...chicken enchilada. Audience BOOS her. EDNA (CONTÕD) (more nervous) Oh okay. Um...IÕll have um....um... BOB I need an answer. EDNA IÕll take the Tacos De La Grande! The audience cheers loudly for that one. BOB Excellent choices by both of you. But let me ask you this. What I can get you two to drink? JERRY (very confidently) Two waters, Bob! BOB Two waters for Jerry and Edna Dormouse! Ron, letÕs review their orders! CUT TO: Ron standing to the side with a small chalkboard on an easel with their orders written on it. The audience goes crazy after each item is named. ROD Well we have Jerry ordering the Chicken Enchilada Combo Meal, Edna ordering the Tacos De La Grande, and both of them are having water to guzzle down their thirst. Bob... CUT BACK TO: Bob at the table with Jerry and Edna. BOB Thanks Rod. Well while we wait for the their food to cook, hereÕs Jill... CUT TO: INT. BAR AREA OF RESTAURANT - EVENING JILL, a young female bartender, stands there. BOB (CONTÕD) ...to tell us about El SobranteÕs new Taco Tuesdays! Jill, whatÕs up? JILL Well from now till the end of the month, every Tuesday from 5 to 9 p.m. is now Taco Tuesday. You will get an unlimited amount of free tacos with every five hundred dollar purchase or when you order the never ordered manure casserole. Bob, back to you. CUT BACK TO: Bob at the table with Jerry and Edna. They both have received their waters. BOB Thank you Jill. Well as you can see, Jerry and Edna have gotten their waters and are now ready for the main course. Felipe, bring them in! A young Mexican man, FELIPE, comes out of the kitchen holding the two dinners. Audience cheers. BOB (CONTÕD) Um, um, um. Those look good, donÕt they? EDNA Yes. BOB Now you can take those dinners, no questions asked. Or you can take whateverÕs in the box that Katherine is bringing out now!!! We see the young female employee, KATHERINE, bring out a small box. BOB (CONTÕD) Jerry and Edna Dormouse, whatÕs it gonna be? JERRY Well IÕm sticking with my enchilada. BOB Very well. Felipe gives Bob his enchilada meal. BOB (CONTÕD) Edna, what about you? The audience once again tries to persuade her. AUDIENCE The box! The box! Stay! Stay! Can I have your maggots? EDNA Um...um...that cornbread sure smells good. On the other hand, IÕd love to know whatÕs in that box. Um...IÕm going with the box!! BOB SheÕs going with the box!!! The audience loudly roars. Jerry, meanwhile, just quietly eats his food. BOB (CONTÕD) Rod, tell Edna whatÕs in the box!!! Rod lifts up the box. ROD ItÕs the keys to a brand new car!!! The audience goes absolutely nuts. Some fall out of their seats. CUT TO: A close-up of the keys. ROD (VO) These keys were made out of the finest copper found in the mines of South Dakota. One key turns the car on, the other opens the doors, and of course, thereÕs one for the trunk. But thatÕs not all! Not only do you get these wonderful keys, but you also get a spare set in case you lose the originals, courtesy of Orchard Supply Hardware. Bob, catch. Rod throws the keys over to Bob. BOB Thanks Rod. There you go Edna. Some brand new keys. (to Felipe) Take the Tacos De La Grande back away, would you Felipe? JERRY ItÕs also her birthday. BOB What? JERRY ItÕs EdnaÕs birthday today. SheÕs fifty-four. BOB She is! (to roaring Audience) Quiet! Quiet everybody! I have just been informed that today is EdnaÕs fifty-fourth birthday. Audience CHEERS. BOB (CONTÕD) Rod, tell her what she gets!! ROD (holding a casserole way up high in his hands) Manure casserole!!!! BOB ThatÕs right. And since today is Tuesday, you get a free unlimited amount of El Sobrante tacos!!! Just then, a whole load full of tacos fall on Edna from above. Bob is so excited he knocks the DormousesÕs tortilla chips over. BOB (CONTÕD) Oh sorry! I knocked your chips over. JERRY I wished I had gone with the box. BOB (to camera) Yes. Dreams and food can come true here at El Sobrante Mexican Restaurant, open weekdays from noon to midnight, weekends four to one. This is Bob Gonzales thanking Rod, Jill, Katherine, Felipe, and you for choosing El Sobrante Mexican Restaurant, where not only are the employees not Mexican but neither is the food. Good-bye, everybody! Audience APPLAUSE as the credits go by. ROD (VO) Customers not appearing at El Sobrante Mexican Restaurant this evening will receive free coupons in this weekÕs Pennysaver. So long everyone! Rate or review this sketch. |
