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Announcer......Chris Parnell Chris Burnett......Jimmy Fallon Leslie Reigart.....Darrel Hammond The Freaky Balkanean Hit Man.....Chris Kattan (fade in) Announcer: You have been waited all year long for the sequel to the 2001 blockbuster hit about a NAVY pilot getting shot down in the Balkans. Now, this fall the wait is over... Chris Burnett: (talking into 3-way radio) Look, I have been shot down, again, and I am ready for pick-up and to be rescued, again. Announcer: Yes, Owen Wilson reprises his role as NAVY pilot Chris Burnett. But don’t miss Gene Hackman, as he reprises his role, as the stereotypical leader of men with a strong will, but a weak heart, as Commanding Officer Leslie Reigart. Leslie Reigart: (talking into 3-way radio) You’re a NAVY pilot for crying out loud, act like it, again. Stay strong, avid and survive, again. And we will rescue you...(dramatic pause) Again! Announcer: Keeping with the plot, Burnett is chased through the Balkan landscape by The Freaky Balkanean Hit Man. (scene cuts to Burnett running and ducking under and around trees and bushes, while at the same time showing off his “physical comedy skills”) Chris Burnett: (talking into 3-way radio) Look, you don’t understand, this “Freaky Balkanean Hit Man” is chasing me, you know, again. Announcer: Even The Freaky Balkanean Hit Man reprises his role as…Yes; you guessed it, The Freaky Balkanean Hit Man. As an added twist, Burnett finds a very special love interest, in a place so unexpected. (scene cuts to Burnett looking through the misty landscape (Burnett sees The Freaky Balkanean Hit Man in a very sex Playboy-like pose on a day bed (Burnett and The Freaky Balkanean Hit Man begin to run towards each other (Burnett and The Freaky Balkanean Hit Man meet up in arms and begin dancing around each other. They both begin to make out like a game of tonsil hockey Announcer: Keeping with the original, The Freaky Balkanean Hit Man attempts to kill Burnett; Burnett attempts to kill The Freaky Balkanean Hit Man. But who will kill whom? The Freaky Balkanean Hit Man: (in a Balkanean accent, talking directly into camera) I will chase this Burnett, again. I will find this Burnett, again. I will try to kill this Burnett, again. I will be killed by this Burnett. (dramatic pause) Again! (collapses to the ground) Announcer: See it, the must see sequel, “Behind Enemy Lines, Again!” See it this fall, coming to a theatre near you. Once you have seen it, see it, again! (fade out) Rate or review this sketch. |
