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...Drew Carey "Drew Carey"...Jeff Richards Drew Carey: Thanks a lot! Thank you, it is great to finally be here! You know, I've always wanted to do this show, but there was always something that was holding me back. For starters, I thought I'd feel uncomfortable doing a show that takes place in New York. Everybody knows that I happen to be from a city, and my show takes place in a city, that may have a thing or two against both this city and your baseball teams. Ever since they traded Most of our good players to the Mets, I kind of had this feeling of friction between New York City, and the city of Cleveland... (MUSIC: "CLEVELAND ROCKS") Drew Carey: (CONFUSED) What the?... (FAKE DREW CAREY COMES ON STAGE) Fake Drew: "OHIO!" (FAKE DREW LEAVES) Drew Carey: Uh, Yeah. Where was I? Oh yeah... But my fears were put to rest when I realized that half of the audience tonight would be filled with New Yorkers... (APPLAUSE FROM NEW YORK AUDIENCE.) ...While the rest would be filled with people from my hometown of Cleveland! (APPLAUSE FROM CLEVELAND AUDIENCE.) (MUSIC: "CLEVELAND ROCKS") Drew Carey: (CONFUSED) (FAKE "DREW CAREY" APPROACHES STAGE) Fake Drew: "OHIO!" (ECHOS) (FAKE DREW LEAVES) Drew Carey: What, did they perfect cloning or something? Anyway... As I was saying, everyone here told me that there was nothing to worry about, and that there is more to life than mere differences. As a matter of fact, I learned this week that New York and Cleveland have a lot in common... (MUSIC: "CLEVELAND ROCKS") (FAKE DREW COMES ON STAGE AGAIN) Fake Drew: "OHIO!" (ECHOS) (FAKE DREW TRIES TO LEAVE, BUT THE REAL DREW GRABS HIM THIS TIME.) Drew Carey: Hold it right there! Who are you and what are you doing to my monolouge? (FAKE DREW IS GETTING NERVOUS) Fake Drew: Uh... Ohio? Drew Carey: Try Again! Fake Drew: (SIGHS) Well, if you must know...(TAKES OFF "DREW" MAKEUP.) It's me Jeff, by the way. (SCATTERED APPLAUSE) When I heard that you were going to host, I figure that it would be the perfect chance to show off my impression to you. I only had a chance to do it once about a few months ago, but even that was just an(AIR QUOTES) "Ohio". Drew Carey: Listen Jeff, I'm sure that you're a fan of mine and everything, but you have to understand that I say more than...(JUMPS UP ON A BOX) "OHIO!" (ECHOS) I mean, have you watched any episode of my show? Fake Drew: Uh, no. Drew Carey: "Whose Line"? Fake Drew: No. Drew Carey: That pay-per-view special I did? Fake Drew: I saw it scrambled. Drew Carey: Look, you have good intentions and everything, but I don't think you're ready to immitate me. Even I can immitate myself better than you can. (FAKE DREW HANGS HEAD IN SHAME, AUDIENCE AWWWs) Drew Carey: Oh, come on. I didn't mean it that way! Look, how about after the show I'll show you how to act like me. You'll be the first person I know who can do it, whaddya say? Fake Drew: On one condition... I want to be on your show! Drew Carey: No! Fake Drew: Can you sign my belly then? Drew Carey: Oh, OK. Who should I make it out to? Fake Drew: Just make it out to Jeff. (DREW SCRIBBLES ON FAKE DREW'S BELLY) Drew Carey: There, happy now? Fake Drew: Yep! Drew Carey: OK, I'll see you later. (FAKE DREW RUNS OFF THE STAGE, APPLAUSE) Drew Carey: Hey, a fan is a fan I guess. We have a great show for you tonight, "Cake" is here! Stick around, we'll be right back! Rate or review this sketch. |
