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Announcer.....Don Pardo .....Jimmy Kimmel .....Adam Carolla .....Rachel Dratch Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome from “Comedy Central’s The Man Show”, Jimmy Kimmel. (Fade in to Jimmy Kimmel standing on the main stage in Studio 8H) Jimmy Kimmel: Thank you, Ladies and Gentlemen. Thank you for your applause. (Clears Throat) As many of you know there is a serious problem with... (Adam Carolla walks on stage to talk to Jimmy) Adam Carolla: Hey Jimmy! Jimmy Kimmel: Ladies and Gentlemen, here is my partner in abusing the next generation, Adam Carolla. Adam Carolla: Hey everyone. (Adam turns to Jimmy) Hey, Jimmy, this chick with really huge knocker that wants to talk to us about joining our show! Jimmy Kimmel: Is it Dolly Parton? Adam Carolla: No, not quite. Jimmy Kimmel: Is it Anne Nicole Smith? Adam Carolla: No, She’s under contact with E! Jimmy Kimmel: Well, Okay. Who is it? Adam Carolla: She is one of those female players running around here all week. Here is her submission tape to become a “Juggy”. (Scene flips to low quality-recorded tape of Rachel Dratch, in her bedroom, warring a really bad looking teddy that does not quite fit her) Rachel: HelloMy name is Rachel Dratch and I am currently a cast member of SNL. I want to become a “Juggy” on the show for men. My boyfriend thought that it would be a good idea because I have really massive boobs. Umm...so here I go. (Rachel proceeds to strip and exotically dance to the music in the background; music is “Rio” by Duran Duran. But it is really apparent she is not a skilled dancer by any means.) Jimmy Kimmel: Oh god, this is really harsh. (Rachel grabs the bedpost and tries to strattle it and instead breaks the bedpost in half. Camera closes up to Rachel’s face, as she is crying her eyes out. Taped segment ends and scene turns to snow and the visions of an infomercial for “Richard Simmons: Sweating to the Oldies”) Adam Carolla: Jimmy, say what you will but I personally have “spanked it” to that video about 10 times already! Jimmy Kimmel: Okay, whatever. Adam, do you wanna join me on this next thing? Adam Carolla: Yeah, sure why not. Jimmy Kimmel: Well getting back to what I was trying to say earlier, there is a serious problem with the fact that the writers could not come up with a descent opening for the show tonight. So Adam and I figured that we would improve something for the opening and we did. So, here goes nothing... Jimmy & Adam: Live from New York, it’s Saturday Night! Rate or review this sketch. |
