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Billy.....Seth Meyers Billy's Mom.....Maya Rudolph Billy's Dad.....Jimmy Kimmel (teenage boys are playing Metallica-like music on stage in front of other teenagers who are jumping up and down, moshing, etc. Billy is playing lead guitar.) Billy's Mom: (runs onstage with Billy's dad behind her.) Billy! Billy! You stop Rock and Rolling this instant!(the band keeps playing;Billy's mom pulls the plug from his guitar out of the amplifier, the crowd goes silent.) Billy's Mom: Billy, I have told you over and over, no playing heavy metal concerts until you have finished your homework! Billy: (whining) Mom! You are embarrasing me in front of my peerrrrrs!!! Billy's Mom: I do not care! But what I do care about is the fact that you have neglected to take the dog out this whole week! Billy's Dad: (trying to impress the teenagers) Hey, I know that one! (singing) Who let the dogs out?! Who?! Who?! Who?! (crowd boo's him) Billy's Mom: (looks out into crowd) Wow, this sure is a rowdy group!(Gasps suddenly) Exscuse me…young lady! Yes….you….the one with your top off! Honey, no one is going to want to buy the whole lo mein bowl when you're giving out samples of the sesame chicken! Billy's Dad: (interested in what was going on ever since he heard “Young lady with her top off”) Whoah, I'd like to get my chopsticks on that! Billy: Ew, dad! Billy's Mom: Hank! (Billy's dad ignores them and walks over to the microphone Billy was using.) Billy's Dad: (looking at the topless girl) Are you familiar with the Dr. Seuss classic…Hop on Pop?? (crowd Ew's! and Boo's!) Billy's Dad: (shruggs) Wha…? Billy's Mom: Hank!…I will deal with you later! But let's just say you won't be getting your hands on any Chinese food tonight! Billy's Dad: Damn (crowd cheers for Billy's mom) Billy's Mom: (looks at her son) Now, back to you, mister. You didn't do your homework, take out the dog, or do any of your chores! Billy: (Beginning to do fake teenage cry) Mom, you are ruining my life! I am trying to express myself here, You know my music is important to me! More important than…..dishes or something! SCREW THE DISHES!!!!(Billy runs out off stage) (Billy's dad makes a face as if he is intrigued at the thought of screwing dishes) (crowd is disappointed there is no more guitarist, and bassist and drummer don't know what to do.) Crowd: We wanna rock! We wanna Rock! We Wanna Rock!!…..(continues chanting) Billy's Mom: (Fake Billy Idol-like accent) Well then get Ready to Rock!!!!!!! (begins playing Billy's guitar and the rest of the band follows, the crowd is pleased.) (Billy's dad is on the other side of the stage talking to some kids.) Billy's Dad: Now remember to catch me kids!!! Yahhh!(jumps, and of course no one catches him.) (Fade to black as Billy's mom plays a rockin' riff.) Rate or review this sketch. |
