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Percy.....Jimmy Fallon Corey.....Seth Meyers [scene: A public area where two people might happen to run into one another. Percy and Corey enter scene from opposite sides.] Percy: Hey Corey! What's up man. It's been awhile. Corey: Hey Percy. Percy: Man, I haven't seen you since high school...like 5 years I guess it's been. So what you been doing? Corey: I, I just graduated. Percy: Cool. So you got a college degree. Corey: No, just finished high school. Percy: Really...but I thought you were like a nerd. No offense. But didn't u get straight A's. Corey: Yeah, well the state made completion of Grade 11 Physical Education a prerequisite to graduation. And well, you remember Mr. Buttamuncha right. Percy: Yeah, he had the funny first name, I think it was Wesley or something. Anyways you mean he failed you 5 times. Corey: Yeah. His wife left him for a nuclear physicist and I think he took it out on me. "Come on," he'd say. "Climb to the top of the rope and I'll pass you. Wassa matter, yo've been inhaling too much Wusstronium in the lab, science boy?" Percy: That's harsh. A physicist. Can't believe he did that to you, though. Just goes to show you that you can't trust people named Wesley. Heh Wesley. Well now that that's behind you, are you planning to go to college? Corey: Actually I'm hoping to go to Europe this year. Of course I've been saying that for years. I've also been saying how I'm going to raise an army of midgets and take over the world but that hasn't happened yet either. Percy: Ha ha, army of midgets. Good one. Corey: Yeah, tell me about it. It's impossible! They're always fighting amongst themselves. If one's an inch taller, he'll start calling the others Shorty. It just creates so much desention and resentment that it becomes impossible to form them into a cohesive fighting unit. Percy: What...what are you talking about? Corey: Creating a midget army to take over the world. Percy: You're...you're serious about that. You're gathering together midgets and trying to create an army? Corey: No. (pause. Percy looks relieved) As I was mentioning, I realize creating such an army is unfeasible. Instead what I've done is I've taken some D.N.A. from Wee Man, from the TV show Jackass, and am now trying to create an army of Wee Men! They'll all be the same size and shape and so no more desention, no more resentment, just raw midget, ass kicking power!!!!! Percy: Dude. I know all those years stuck in Phys. Ed 11 probably messed up your head but I don't think this is the answer. Corey: You don't know what it was like. Stuck in there...getting hit with towels and being laughed at 'cause I wasn't developed like the others...day after day for 5 whole years! They stole my pride and I aim to get it back. And the only way to do that is to guide my army of Wee Men to global domination! Percy: I hate to say this but you'll probably get laughed at. Corey: What are you talking about? Percy: Think about it. When you get to Mexico, the Mexican army will be looking at your army and saying (Mexican accent) "Oh oh. Look out guys. It's an army of Weemen." Get it. If you win they'll be like "Oh see, we got our asses kicked by a bunch of Weemen. How embarassing." Even if you win you lose. Corey: Hmmm, maybe you're right. Well I was thinking of inserting fish DNA so they can breath underwater thereby making them amphibious. So...I could change their name to Sea Men. Percy: (shaking his head) Look, quit while you're ahead. Forget the clone army. And while you're at it, delete the Star Wars Episode II files from you computer and just start fresh. Corey: I guess...but they took so long to download... Percy: Look at me Corey. Look at me. Delete them. Promise me you'll delete them. Corey: Okay. Percy: And I'm talking about pressing shift and delete, Corey. Corey: Okay. Percy: Shift and delete at the same time! Corey: Awww man. Percy: That George Lucas has your thinking all messed up. If I had the ability to make a clone army, I'd make myself a Britney Spears army. Who needs global domination when you have 20 Britney Spears looking after your every need? Corey: Hmmm...wait I get it now! Goodbye Wee Men hello (mexican accent) Weemen. Thanks Percy. I'll never forget this. Begun this clone party has! [exit Corey] Percy: No wait man, you can't do that. It isn't right. Wait a minute? What the hell am I saying, wait for me! [fade out] Rate or review this sketch. |
